#and hes like okay i will use this knowledge to be a bitch On Purpose

[trans-girl-uchiha-itachi]

pros: have been very inspired, in fact compelled, to write lately

cons: writing naruto fanfiction is SO far down my list of priorities rn and yet it compels me nevertheless

pros: slowly but surely making progress on eyeball polycule chapter 3

cons: sai has unexpectedly shown up and won't leave

[mclqren]

UNFORGETTABLE ★ CL16

PAIRING ✦ charles leclerc x fem!gymnast!reader

SUMMARY ✦ after attending one f1 race, you simultaneously manage to embarrass yourself in front of and impress a certain f1 driver [ SMAU ]

WARNINGS ✦ cursing

REQUESTED ✦ here!

NOTES ✦ for the purpose of this fic, the reader is going to represent america in the olympics for gymnastics. i made the reader have a private insta account for this fic & a main, just to fit in with the 'private life' aspect. the fc i've used is isabela juliana, but feel free to picture whoever you want! my requests are open so feel free to leave a request :)

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liked by yourbsf, simonebiles, and 237,901 others

yourusername flowers are the key to my heart 🔐💌

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user1 STUNNERRR!!

user2 if the whole gymnastics thing doesn't work out, you could literally have a career as a model because damnnn!!

user3 the flowersss 🥺🥺

user4 is she going to the olympics this year??

user5 yess!! can't wait to see her 💗💗

simonebiles my girl wowwww 😍😍

yourusername my lover fr 💓💓

yourbsf GORGEOUS

yourusername LOVE YOU!!

liked by yourbsf, simonebiles, and 124 others

yourfinsta sushi night & trying to figure this f1 shit out before this weekend 🍣😱

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yourbsf SINCE WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO WATCH F1

yourfinsta HAVE I NOT TOLD YOU

yourbsf NOOO???

yourfinsta FERRARI INVITED ME AS A PADDOCK GUEST SO I GUESS IM GOING

yourbsf you better message me ALL ABOUT IT

yoursibling you're the luckiest bitch alive.

yourfinsta yeah except i know NOTHINGG about f1 pls drop by my apartment and teach me ☹️

yoursibling fine fine im on my way

yourusername

( caption one: about to moveeee ✈️ | caption two: i apologize in advance for my limited formula one knowledge 😔 )

liked by yourbsf, yoursibling, and 201 others

yourfinsta third slide is me after embarrassing myself in front of one of the most good-looking guys alive?? i swear i knew his name i just panicked when someone asked me 😭

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yourbsf HOW DID YOU NOT KNOW WHO CHARLES LECLERC WAS

yourfinsta YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND IT WAS SO EMBARRASSING ESP WHEN HE BROUGHT IT UP AGAIN LATER??

yourbsf he brought it up AGAINNN?? oh he likes you.

yourfinsta NO HE DOESNTT HE WAS PROBABLY JUST AS EMBARRASSED AS I WAS.

yoursibling the caption??

yourfinsta it's a long story. i'll tell you when i get home

liked by charles_leclerc, simonebiles, and 301,121 others

yourusername i had such a good time w ferrari this weekend: thank you sm for having me!! (ps. yes i do know who both drivers are 🤣)

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user9 the caption 🤣🤣

user10 you have to praise the girl for owning her mistake!

user11 STUNNERRR

user12 so why isn't she training then...

user13 ppl are allowed to take breaks - leave her alone!

user14 the flowers are so on y/n's brand

user15 righttt!! she's so spring i can't explain it

scuderiaferrari it was lovely to have you with us, y/n!

yourusername thank you for having me! ❤️❤️

user16 okay but why couldn't they have chosen someone who knows about f1 instead of someone random girl off the street?? like at least pick someone who's WATCHED the sport, and knows the drivers names.

user17 tons of people who haven't watched the sport get invited all the time. she said when she was there that she didn't have too much knowledge on the sport, but wanted to learn more about it, hence why she accepted the invite. she said she forgot their names momentarily because she was panicked by the larger crowd, so maybe leave off her for a minute! 💓

yourusername

( caption one: back again 😴 | caption two: thanks for the gift 😉 )

liked by charles_leclerc, carlossainz55, and 292,102 others

yourusername another crazy weekend later...🏎️

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user22 she's so luckyyyy wth!

user23 TWO F1 RACES IN A ROW?? WOWWW SOMEONE'S POPULAR

user24 AND THE HAT? it's def charles asking for her

user25 the outfitttt wow 😍

user26 she's literally so pretty

user27 STAY AWAY FROM CHARLES

user28 girl what.

charles_leclerc the bag 😉

yourusername yes yes you bought it for me thanks babe 🤣💓

user29 A GIFT? 'BABE'? WHATTTT

user30 WOAH WHAT IS THIS

liked by charles_leclerc, yourbsf, and 280,111 others

yourusername back to training at last 🤸‍♀️

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user31 back to your rootsss!!

user32 my fav gymnast

user33 WE'VE BEEN WAITINGGG i can't wait for the olympics

user34 SAME!!

user35 wowww she's stunning!

user36 is this charles' girlfriend then or-

user37 nope! nothing's been confirmed right now - they might just be good friends!

simonebiles YOU ARE EVERYTHINGGG!!

yourusername I LOVE YOU 💗

charles_leclerc i could do that 🤣

yourusername fighting talk from someone who drives around in a car all day!

liked by yourusername, carlossainz55, and 1,894,012 others

tagged yourusername

charles_leclerc turns out the key to heart is to actually just buy her flowers 🤷‍♀️❤️

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user42 MAMA Y PAPA

user43 UR SO REAL FOR THISSS

user44 DAMN Y/N IS BEING SPOILTTTT

user45 AS SHE SHOULD BEEE!!

user46 POWER COUPLE ALERTTT

user47 gymnast x f1 driver is NOT a trope i was expecting but i love it!!

yourusername the flowers are the only reason we're together.

charles_leclerc WHAT

yourusername wish i was kidding, i'm just a sucker for nice flowers 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

yourusername ALL JOKES ASIDE im so grateful 💗

landonorris barf 🤮

yourusername call me when you get a girlfriend x

user48 SHE'S FRIENDS W THE PADDOCK TOO??

liked by charles_leclerc, simonebiles, and 381,229 others

tagged charles_leclerc

yourusername it's no longer acceptable to forget your name anymore ☹️💓

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user49 MY NEW FAV COUPLE ON THE GRID

user50 im OBSESSEDDD

user51 pls call me if he fumbles you ☹️

user52 NO REALLL im always here y/n ❤️❤️

user53 THE THIRD SLIDE PLEASEEEE

user54 love a woman who's obsessed w her man 🙏

simonebiles if he hurts you im always here (to date you)

yourusername my ACTUALLL wife 💍💍

charles_leclerc im so lucky ❤️

yourusername you mean you're lucky i liked the flowers.

charles_leclerc you're still on about this??

yourusername YOU THINK IM JOKING?? flowers are my life. i would die for flowers. it's the only reason we're together 🤣💗

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[breakfastteatime]

hope you don't mind the rant but argh i finally realised why i feel so disconnected to survivor in comparison to how close jfo is to me

spoilers for those who haven't played survivor

but i really dislike major decisions made and i'm gonna babble on a little (i've had like eight panadol and two sleeping meds as of the last hour n a half so if this doesn't make sense that's why)

one that's been swirling around my head ever since i played us that it really felt like they brought cordova back JUST to kill him off. this also ties into my next point that i find bode's betrayal hard to believe as well. every role he had in the story could easily be replaced by someone such as cere, and i felt like the only reason he was there was to have someone for bode to kill to show how really evil he was but respawn didn't want to kill any of the main cast off. he's such a useless character in the plot that killing him off didnt effect anything LMAO

my next major dislike is, understandably, about bode :,) yes i know this can come off as making excuses for a character i was attached to since the trailers dropped but the more i think about it the more i really cannot understand both the timeline and the motive that was behind bode's betrayal. i kind of get the idea he was lax about betraying them UNTIL cal mentioned using tanalorr for the hidden path but according to the echoes you get after the game bodenis plotting and scheming the whole time... plus, you think that his whole motive relies on creating a safe place for kata on tanalorr where no one can find them but also like. you have two (technically three) jedi, a nightsister, and a whole clan of anchorites that kick the empire's ass every day. "will you be able to protect her when the empire comes?" fuckass have you SEEN cal use a lightsaber?? kata is safer with cal then she is bode

dagan was hella underwhelming too which disappointed me tbh i was excited for this high republic jedi to show us all this cool stuff only for him to die in like three seconds 😔

ANYWAY i hope this ain't too long but i'd love to hear your thoughts/criticisms on js bc i love the game and all the little bits are amazing but some of the decisions made have me a bit hrghh

Okay, friend, you asked for it ;)

The decision to bring back Cordova was an unexpected one, but the sight of him makes me cry happy tears every damn time, so it doesn't bother me at all. I take your point re: Cere being able to do everything he does, but part of Bode’s betrayal also hinges on him betraying Cere to Vader, who clearly wants vengeance after Nur (which is SO IN CHARACTER for Vader I can only lol. Petty bitch.), so Bode killing her wouldn't have had quite the same impact.

Because I was so convinced he was dead that him *actually* being dead didn’t strike me as ‘brought back only to die’. I would argue that killing him off did put them at risk of not being able to reach Tanalorr and defintely drove Cal to Nova Garon, but yes… Cordova's character probably lacks development and definitive purpose compared to the others… Although even as I say that, I find myself thinking of the logs he left behind in the various ruins on Jedha and the words of advice and I just can’t get mad. Plus there's that teeny hint that he's been unwell when Merrin asks how he's feeling. I see your points, yes, but I'm not too fussed by any of it.

Moving onto Bode...

So, here’s my interpretation of Bode, based on the post-game echoes and the little nuances that take on a totally new light on a replay. Bode is playing Cal from the very beginning. They are never friends from Bode’s perspective, and he is a master manipulator. He’s a textbook abuser – he lovebombs Cal with compliments and praise to cement their relationship, and does the same with everyone in his family. Plus, he used his knowledge of Cere’s location to further his cause with the Empire.

There’s also a power dynamic at play here because Bode was a Jedi Knight during the war while Cal was still a Padawan. Bode is older and more experienced with the world than Cal. He knows Cal longs for friendship, and he wields that against him more effectively than any weapon. Every action, every word, every choice Bode makes is solely to dig in deeper with Cal so he can and Kata can escape the Empire. Had Cal agreed that Tanalorr would just be for them, *maybe* Bode wouldn’t have betrayed him the way he did, but Bode is well on his way to the dark side because of his attachment to Kata. And Cal very nearly follows him because of his attachments to his family.

To me, this is what the Jedi Order meant by 'no attachments'. Jedi are allowed to love, but when that love becomes all consuming, when it becomes an obsession, that’s when the attachment becomes dangerous. Bode’s story is very similar to Anakin’s, he’s just not as powerful. Hasn’t got those Skywalker genes 😉  

Bode’s motive to me is clear – he *thinks* everything is about Kata, but actually it’s all about him. It’s about his grief and rage and fear because of his wife's death the terrible choices he made. Denvik promises that if Bode gives him what he wants (Cal and Cere), he will reveal which Inquistor murdered his wife. Bode is already in it for revenge, not his daughter's wellbeing. His choices are very pre-meditated. He is a parent, yes, and I can understand that overriding love of a child, but he is also a grieving husband who is so broken by his loss that his love for Kata has become too possessive. He is terrified of losing his daughter, and it eclipses his love for her. Kata is aware of this, and her love is also turning to fear. Bode is neglectful (he's always leaving Kata behind) and bordering on abusive at the end. He trusts no one but himself, and he even asks Cal at the very end if he can protect Kata. Cal says nothing because he knows he can’t – he’s tried protecting so many people, and he’s lost nearly all of them. He won’t make a promise he can’t keep, and that’s what completely breaks Bode. Bode doesn’t believe anyone *but him* can protect Kata because he has become completely consumed with fear and anger. Cal gave him a chance to make a better choice when he disarmed him. In fact, Bode had *so many chances* to make a better choice, and he didn’t. So, when Bode responded by choosing to try and kill Cal, Merrin *and* very nearly his own daughter, Cal had no choice but to put him down – hard. That second shot took my breath away both times I played the game because Cal knows he cannot save Bode and protect the people who matter, and by showing Bode mercy, more people will die. It's also about control - Bode tries to control everyone. Cal knows he can't, so he takes the only option left - killing Bode. Honestly, the more I think about that finale, the more intense it becomes. It's an astonishing moment.

I do wonder if the reason people struggle with Bode is because he is so nice, and he fits in so well, but it’s all fake and it’s all an act. Whether you saw it coming or not, that hurts. Cal – and the player – want so badly for Bode to be better than he is, and that’s the tragedy. Bode’s not capable of that. He has suffered losses just like Cal, but he couldn’t overcome them. It’s a lot to deal with emotionally!

And as for Dagan, I quite like him! Mostly because that final battle with him incorporates my favourite Star Wars thing – WEIRD FORCE SHIT. He’s also a mirror held up to Cal – this is what you could become if your obsession takes over you. I also think his relationship with Santari Khri is meant to show Cal the potential pitfalls of his relationship with Merrin if his attachment overcomes him… but we’ll have to see what happens next…

Gosh this got long. It's always fun to see other people's perspectives and share my own! Hope you've got some rest and feel better soon :)

[nicklloydnow]

“Alyoshka was not yet a Catholic then, but he no longer wore a beard. He had just been laid off as a guard, he had surrendered his nightstick and uniform and become once more the mustachioed and dark-eyed Alyoshka Slavkov, cheerful despite a bad limp, lover of booze. Alyoshka fed me sauerkraut and sausages, his unvarying diet, and sat down to translate a document I had brought. Entitled "Memorandum," the document expressed the hopes and dreams of what we called "the creative intelligentsia"—of Alyoshka and myself and a great number of other artists, writers, filmmakers, and sculptors who had emigrated from the USSR and whom no one here needed one fucking bit.

Alyoshka translated, and I sat in an old chair, its upholstery worn shiny, and thought about our document and our intrigues. "A drowning man's effort not to drown," I thought. Two pages. To be sent to Jackson, Carey, and Beame. As if they would help us with our art. Those demagogues had needed us, however, while we were over there. Here they shoved us on welfare so we wouldn't bitch. Okay, Ivan, have a spree, enjoy your freedom.

Cold-blooded Americans, they're so fucking smart, they advise the likes of us to switch professions. Just one thing—why don't they switch professions themselves? When a businessman loses half his fortune he throws himself off the forty-fifth floor of his office building, he does not go to work as a guard. I could have conformed in the USSR, why the fuck come here to do it? That was all the Soviet regime wanted of me, to change my profession.

A fine emigration we are, I went on in my thoughts, the most frivolous one yet. Usually only the fear of starvation or death can force people to leave a place, abandon their homeland, knowing that they may not be able to return, ever. A Yugoslavian who leaves for a temporary job in America can return home to his country, we can not. Never again shall I see my father and mother; I, little Eddie, am firm and calm in this knowledge.

It all started with Messrs. Sakharov, Solzhenitsyn, and company, who turned us against the Soviet world without ever having laid eyes on the Western world. They were prompted not only by specific purposes—the intelligentsia were demanding a part in governing the country, demanding their share—but also by pride, the desire to advertise themselves. As always in Russia, moderation was not observed. They may have been honestly deceived, Sakharov and Solzhenitsyn, but they deceived us too. Whatever the case, they were "dominant influences." So powerful was the intelligentsia's movement against their country and its system that even the strong could not resist and were swept along. So we all shag-assed over to the Western world as soon as the opportunity presented itself. We shag-assed over here, and having seen what the life is like, many if not all would shag-ass right back, but it's impossible. The Soviet government is not nice.

Fucking smart Americans, they advise men like Alyoshka and me to change professions. Where am I to hide all my thoughts, feelings, ten years of living, books of poetry? And me myself, where am I to hide refined little Eddie? Lock him up in the shell of a busboy. Bullshit. I tried it. I can no longer be an ordinary man. I am spoiled forever. Only the grave will reform me.

Eventually American security forces are going to have trouble with us. After all, not everyone conforms. In a couple of years look for Russians among the terrorists in liberation fronts of every description. That is my forecast.

Change our professions! Can the soul be changed? Knowing definitely what he is capable of, is it everyone who can suppress himself here and live the life of an ordinary man, laying no claim to anything, when he sees around him money, success, and fame, all of it largely undeserved, when he knows from experience both here and in the Soviet Union—and in this case the experience is identical—that he who is obedient and patient receives all from society, that he who sits on his butt all day and curries favor gets it all.

The brilliant inventors of vegetarian sandwiches for Wall Street secretaries can be counted on the fingers of one hand. For the most part, people arrive at success here just as they do in the USSR, by obedience, by wearing out the seat of their pants in their own or a government office, in boring daily labor. That is to say, civilization is constructed in such a way that the most restless, passionate, impatient—as a rule the most talented, who seek new paths—break their necks. This civilization is paradise for the mediocre. We thought the USSR was a paradise for the mediocre, we thought it would be different here if you were talented. Fuck no!

Ideology there, business reasons here. That is roughly true. But what difference does it make to me exactly why the world doesn't want to give me what is mine by right of my birth and talent? The world calmly gives it—a place, I mean, a place in life, recognition—to the businessman here, to the party worker over there. But it has no place for me.

Fucking shit! I'm being patient, world, very patient, but some day I'll get fed up. If there's no place for me, and for many others, then who the fuck needs a civilization like this?

That last thought I expressed aloud to Alyoshka Slavkov, who is far from agreeing with me in everything. He is drawn to religion, inclined to seek salvation in religious tradition; on the whole he is calmer than Eddie, although he too has storms raging within him, I think. He dreams of becoming a Jesuit, and I mock his Jesuitism and predict that he will participate in the world revolution along with me, a revolution whose goal will be to destroy civilization.

"And what would you build in its place, you and your friends in the Workers Party?" Alyoshka said. For some reason he lumps me in with the Workers Party, to which I have never belonged. I have merely been interested in it, as in any other leftist movement. I did become more intimate with Carol and her friends than with members of the other parties, but that was pure chance.

"The hardest thing of all," I told Alyoshka, "is to overthrow this civilization, tear it out by the root so that it cannot revive as it did in the USSR. To overthrow it once and for all is to build something new."

"And what will you do about culture?" Alyoshka asked

"This feudal culture," I said, "which inculcates wrong interpersonal relationships that originated in the distant past under a different social order-what will we do about it? We'll fucking annihilate it. It's unhealthy, it's dangerous with all its little tales of good millionaires, wonderful police who defend citizens from bestial criminals, magnanimous politicians who love flowers and children. Why is it that not one of these stinking authors—notice, Alyoshka, not one—will write that crimes, the majority of them, are generated by civilization itself? If a man kills another and takes his money, it's certainly not because he likes the color and crunch of those scraps of paper enough to murder another. He knows from his society that among his fellow countrymen those scraps of paper are God, they'll bring him any woman he wants, and bring him his grub, and deliver him from exhausting physical labor. Or a man kills his wife for betraying him. But if there were other customs, a different ethic, and interpersonal relationships were measured only by love, then why would he kill for unlove? Unlove is a misfortune, it's to be regretted. Television always shows families, and gentlemen in suits. But that's already on the way out. The gentlemen in suits are on the way out, and the wild wind of new relationships, ignoring all police measures, all religious barriers, howls over America and the whole world. The gentleman in a suit, the gray-haired head of the family, is suffering defeat after defeat, and soon, very soon, he will no longer be able to govern the world. The husband and wife who joined together in order to have a more peaceful, economically more advantageous life—not for love, but at the decree of custom—theirs was always an artificial arrangement and engendered a host of tragedies. Why the fuck preserve an obsolete custom?"“ - Eduard Limonov, ‘It's Me, Eddie’ (1979) [p. 148 - 151]

[57sfinest]

You can't just tell us you have thoughts about the ending and then not say them!! Tell us!! (If you want to)

okay so big fuck-you to the gamer bros who bitched about the ending not being satisfying or bloody enough or whatever the hell. listen to me. the ending of disco elysium begins when you get on that damn boat, okay? it's not just the 2nd tribunal/meeting the posse/whatever you refer to it as. that's why it forces you to commit to finishing the game when you get on the boat. the ending comes in three stages, as follows:

the plot wrap-up with dros. here is where you get your "solving the case" payoff. yay, you did it! you followed the clues and here's the killer! it ties together all the stereo-investigations as well as several setting elements, like the specter of old communism, the fallout of the revolution, how martinaise came to be what it is. great, the detective has cracked the case, but it's unsatisfying alone; he's a dying old man. he will never see justice. also, what is justice? are you, as a cop in an occupied territory, capable of bringing anything even remotely like justice? this alone is not the ending.

the emotional payoff with the phasmid. assuming you get this scene, harry is rewarded with the culmination of his efforts to change or be more aware as a person. this is harry's big shift in perspective. you can ask the phasmid: "have i always thought like this?" and they reply "no. this is a revelation for you." this has the potential to be a true tipping point for harry's trajectory. this miracle, this gift, may really change harry's outlook; if anything was going to truly course-correct him, it's this. it's your reward as the player for making the "correct" choices to allow him this- you're given this beautiful scene where even *kim* is forced to confront his own perspectives. but this alone is not the ending.

the character wrap-up on harry during the crosswalk dream and the jeanfrontation (jean confrontation). the crosswalk gives you some insight into how harry still sees dora, who prior to this moment was given very little voice. it's a deeply biased representation, but it finally allows us some knowledge on what their relationship was like and how harry probably behaved to drive her away. then jean's input, in turn, gives us (biased!!) information on some of the facts about harry that we'd otherwise have no way of knowing. the whole game, you're building harry how you want him- then here, in the last scene, the game says here. here's some people who knew him *before*. you know how you made him, but here's how he *was*, and how he could be again. ultimately you get to find out whether or not he returns to work right away, but this alone is STILL NOT THE ENDING!

the ending is all of this taken together!! it is built up in stages, which are linearized in a way that almost nothing else in the game is! each of these parts serves a different purpose and they work together to give us a final sequence that adequately ties up the plot while still managing to give the most focus towards the themes of the game and the characters involved.

[clonehub]

Episode 3 of the bad batch!

"we're fine" girl the gonk droid is on its side

I wonder what these rations taste like

Okay so echo can eat solids. And also everyone is yelling at him to fix everything on the ship. They are flying through hyperspace on a ship that doesn't work properly and I'm SORRY but techs priorities are BACKWARDS

THEY DONT EVEN FIT IN THE SEATS AAAHHHHHH

The way they're acting I'm thinking theybe never crash landed before which is actually really funny bc Anakin only knew how to crash. Like it was a regular occurrence in tcw for bitches to be crashing all over the place

Okay first mention of crosshair.

"Crosshairs actions may have been influenced by his inhibitor chip" "it can do that?" Was it. Like wasnt this established. Like one or two episodes ago? I'm genuinely confused this could be my own standing knowledge of the chips getting in the way but why's echo surprised the chip is influencing Crosshairs actions

I will say. There's times where the lighting and the model rendering blends in such a way so that u can't really differentiate the features on omegas face if that makes sense. Like it blends too much

I do like how much they do the blur/focus thing I've always liked that

Rampart being like the only person in this entire series with decently brown eyes :/

Oh look. Once again referred to as enhanced (crosshair). And it's like the more that I think about it. It would not make sense for the Kaminoans to work so hard to keep tbb alive if they believed they were really defective. They're very much like "here's our enhanced product here's our enhanced soldiers see how enhanced they are" like tbb are advertising so they wouldn't say "yeah they're defective BUT--"

So crosshair just walking about in his jammies

Tarkins face model is p good

Something about the models for this first batch of conscripts is like. Like they were built the way they were bc the animators knew they wouldn't be on screen long.

This is kinda funny tho bc they definitely made some heads and just stuck them on a clone models body HFKSBFKSNDKSJS not that I'm mad I like they didn't do boob armor but fhakdnaksk

Tech is so like. Not arugmentative but he has to reply to everything and it's normally in a dismissive or disagreeing way and normally I wouldn't care at all but sometimes it's like was this line necessary.

"you wanna narrow that down" bitch can you go outside and look damn making all this noise from the back seat

I wonder why if Wrecker is having all this obvious hesd pain nobody is actually like checking on him?

A nice blend of music here

It's so funny like how much ppl just fucking hate being scanned because like for me if every doctors visit could just be a scan I'd be so gung ho for it. Yeah let me just lay here for three seconds and hardly get a needle or anything tf

Willing enlistment as metric for a good soldier is interesting and I feel like purposely manipulative bc the guy in the scene before this just said he's got like food and housing so that's partly why he's staying. It's not a loyalty thing at all lmao

What's funny is that I think tbbs helmets for all their little specialities don't actually contribute to air tight contained suits the way the normie clones do. Bc if this was Rex and co they could probably just keep their buckets on w a lil attachment. So they get the headlamps and the HUD. But hunter can't have that so he has to remove the entire thing and put on this mask.

"we each have enhanced skills"

See I wish they could have maintained this tension around crosshair better through the season

Not this white boy poking crosshair in his insecurities BDMABDLSNSLAK no wonder he was so gung ho to kill him and also why he wanted to stick w the imps so bad. Again again again it's ego

They use English letters a lot here not that it's a bad thing or anything but like I remember how in tcw during some like behind the scenes things they basically implied they tried to avoid doing that. They sometimes would say the aurebesh letters and sometimes it'd be A and B

Oh he didn't tattoo his eyelid. Not that it like has to be but like. I just noticed

Sorry these choking noises are so throaty

Bro just unconscious here fjandnaknsa

Wilhelm scream :/

Yeah wow the uh. White boy was the only one with moral back bone huh. The only one who said extrajudicial execution of civilians was bad. Just him huh. Hm.

This is an interesting creature

Oh she gotta be standing on something to be this tall

DNA degradation still doesn't make sense to me given what should be the kammies gene prowess but whatevs

It's like. They're hung up on Jango DNA but if hsi stuff is swirling the drain and you don't have boba would the next thing not be to just find a new guy? Also how does any of that make this any less cost prohibitive

"such a contingency would require a direct source. The clones required will not return willingly" / "they are kaminoan property and we only need one"

Uh but tbb are enhanced and mutated so therefore not the best candidates for sourcing for Jango DNA? Unless I've got this wrong (I'm thinking I do).

I wonder if this room still stinks

This is a sweet thing wreckers done I will say that. But also is omegas room just a viewport or is there a turret attached to that chair?

"I never had my own room before" who was she sharing a room with?????

[patrochillesvibes]

Hi. Are you in for a modern AU where Achilles is a spoiled bratty trophy husband for real? He could be like 19 or 20 years old(early 20s at best) and there is a 20+ age gap here between him and Patroclus. If u r okay with it, care to share more of your thoughts or HCs?

This is gonna be tough bcs to me that’s a sugar daddy scenario, but I’ll try. Let’s see…

Plot scenarios…

Perhaps Achilles is an athlete. Maybe he’s training for the Olympics (gymnastics, track) or is a professional soccer player. There’s a competition. Something goes wrong (perhaps he’s distracted by a fight with his coach), and he has an accident (broken ankle). Pat is his physical therapist. They slowly fall in love through his appointments. Soon after, he retires from his sport and lives with his philtatos.  

Or maybe Pat is a high-profile lawyer. Rich and successful. He’s not corrupt per say, but he cares a great deal about money and winning. So corporate law? Or you could continue TSOA Pat’s SJW attitude and have him as family law/divorce attorney. In any case, he does some trust administering for an important client (or if you want it spicier, one of the firm’s partners). This includes dishing out a monthly annuity to the mysterious son, Achilles. If you want it dark, Achilles would have a drug problem or is a sex worker. For lighter fare, he’s a nepo baby. Pat can see that he’s hurting inside, and he starts to help him heal over the course of their monthly meetings. Pat eventually “rescues” him from his situation and they fall in love.

Hm. Pat is an executive for some company. Achilles is interning in the marketing department. He hates it. He’s a gen z in a room full of gen x. They just don’t get the nuances of ig and tiktok. Maybe Pat oversees marketing? Achilles would be a shameless flirt, trying to seduce him. For extra spice, instead of a typical college student Achilles is the son of a member of the board! How forbidden. I see a runaway lovers angle here. They uncover a scandal with the company. Achilles anonymously calls the Feds. Achilles and Pat run off to one of those islands billionaires hide in. Achilles’ took his dad’s secret stash of money for them to live off of. For an extra twist, there actually was no corruption. It was a setup. By Pat and Achilles for the purposes of getting Peluses’ money (think of the movie Wild Things)!

General HCs…

Achilles is extremely high maintenance. He requires attention 24/7. He’s a princess.

Lot’s of texting. It varies between bratty pouting for something (new designer shoes, a vacation), telling Pat he misses him and just being generally clingy, and sexts. There is always some level of sexting daily. If he’s out and about, it’s pictures of his feet. When he’s getting ready, he always includes a pic of the underwear he’s wearing. If Pat is working late, then it’s sexy pics of what he’ll be finding in the bedroom when he gets home. Innocent suggestive pics (e.g. drinking a cocktail through a straw) are also common. If Pat is away at a conference, then there’s video with toys. And they absolutely have nasty phone sex. Oh, and Achilles likes to film them fucking without Pat’s knowledge or consent. In Achilles’ mind this is okay bcs the vids are for use during conferences.

Pat has a foot kink, so Achilles frequents exclusive spas for regular pedicures. There’s lots of “live tweeting” of this. The first chance he gets, Pat will head to the men’s room at work and jerk off. Achilles has an entire closet devoted to shoes. There are quite a lot of high heels (for play).

Work functions are quite intense. Achilles’ doesn’t play well with other girls, so-to-speak. He’s catty and all the other wives hate him. Pat is his and he will cut a bitch if she even thinks about trying. Pat’s colleagues have mixed feelings. His boss (who’s very old) doesn’t understand that they’re gay and finds Achilles BPD personality extremely entertaining. This works somewhat in Pat’s favor bcs he’s somewhat of his boss’ favorite now. There are a few colleagues that Achilles considers an enemy coughBriseiscoughOdysseuscough. These are the ones who keep telling Pat to divorce Achilles. Anyways, at these functions Achilles tends to hang off Pat’s arm and grope his butt. Achilles likes (expensive) alcohol and has a high tolerance. Pat has to keep an eye on his consumption so that he doesn’t go too far beyond tipsy. Hungover Achilles is no fun.  

Achilles regularly wears a bit of makeup (eyeliner and mascara). He also has a variety of lipsticks and lip-glosses. All of this is for blow job aesthetics. Does choaking on cock really count if your mascara isn’t running? Speaking of blow jobs, Achilles has Pat trained. Achilles always pulls his hair back into a ponytail for bjs. So whenever Pat sees hair elastics or Achilles putting up his hair, he gets hard. It’s an involuntary reaction at this point.

Pat is a pretty brutal dom in the bedroom. This Pat fucks. He likes to call Achilles dirty, naughty, slut, cock whore, hole, cocksleave. There’s a lot of possessiveness over property (this is my hole, your orgasms are mine). There’s a lot of bondage, blindfolds, breath play, and impact play. There’s some sissy play too (Pat likes to refer to Achilles’ anus as a pussy). Achilles is regularly turned into a senseless drooling mess. When it comes to punishment, cock cage. Pat will do this especially when he’s away for a long time. They both enjoy public sex. Members of the mile high club. In restaurants there’s a lot of touching under the table and restroom sex. In traffic, there’s a lot of bjs. And when they’re shopping or running errands, Achilles wears a vibe that Pat controls with an app.

Achilles is active. He’s in the gym daily.

Achilles has a small core group of friends, all trophy wives.

(This is actually a topic I’m passionate about. Achilles really doesn’t have any friends. He just has Pat. Sure he’s fighting alongside others, but let’s face it he’s a prima donna. When they get back to camp he goes directly to their tent. Now when he was young before he met Pat there were admirers, but once Pat came along that was it. The only time in TSOA where he interacts with others in a “casual” setting is Skyros. So in AU settings I don’t see Achilles as having male friends. He has a few female friends, but the dynamic is perhaps more of Mean Girls (or maybe there was comradery and they bonded over forbidden love). If he has any male friends it would be with his cousin Ajax.)

Back to the friends… Monday is brunch, Tuesday is Yoga class, Wednesday is spa day. They also watch the Bachelor and get into heated debates over it. Most of them are low-key alcoholics.

Date night is Friday night. Every. Week. It’s a whole event for Achilles. He spends the whole day getting ready (special bath soak, special skin creams, hair mask and salon visit, douching, etc.). Pat always gives him flowers (roses, peonies). His ig is full of all his beautiful bouquets and arrangements. They go to an expensive restaurant. Then it’s back home for some play.

Gifts are important. Achilles is expensive. Lingerie is probably the most common gift. Then maybe jewelry (anklets, earrings, necklaces, some bangles, watches)… Pat is a health-conscious Dom, so there aren’t too many sweets being gifted. No drugs. No smoking (which is a crime bcs a cigar belongs in Pat’s hand). But Pat will splurge on very expensive wine and champagne. Pat enjoys bourbon and brandy.

Achilles is particular about clothes and has excellent taste. Pat gives him a big clothing budget. Except suits, Achilles selects most of Pat’s clothes (lots of coordinated outfits). Pat’s suits are bespoke, but Achilles usually goes with him for fittings. He will give input on colors and styles.

Achilles does not drive. Pat will drive him, or his friends will pick him up. In a scenario where Pat is extremely wealthy, then they have a driver. Feel bad for the driver because there is a lot of nasty things happening behind the partition. Pat drives expensive cars, but he has class so none of that sports car bs with flashy shit like Lotus or Ferrari or Bugatti. Pat is more of a Maserati and BMW guy. Maybe a Porche. Extremely wealthy Pat might go for an Aston Martin but it will depend.

And obviously Achilles does not cook and clean. There’s a lot of uber eats. Achilles does know how to make drinks. On stressful days Achilles will have Pat’s favorite drink ready for him. Maids come in to clean. They go through a lot of maid companies. They’re the weird gay guys with weird stuff going on in their house and no one wants to work for them. For this reason, laundry is a pickup/delivery dry cleaning service. It is used frequently.

They do a lot of traveling. There’s always a winter ski trip and trip to the islands. Summer is for trips to Europe. They have visited the big cities in Asia as well. And Dubai. But they have to be careful with their destinations as not everywhere is queer friendly. They do a lot of shopping and touristy stuff when they travel. Achilles isn’t afraid to get dirty, but physical activities (hiking, kayaking, paddleboarding, cycling, sky diving etc.) is not the main event of their travels. Remember, as a trophy husband his main purpose is to be pretty.

[blocksruinedme]

SMALLETHO WEEK STATUS: PENULTIMATE REPORT

(please let this be penultimate report)

Okay I have 11 hours to get these out in saturday my time zone and i am going to do it, or i'll take my me off and throw me in the lake (it's right there down the street I'll do it.)

You'd think they'd be done by now. You'd think given how many days ago they were first "basically drafted" they'd be done right now. But noooo, some bitch (me) decided the fic "deserve more" and there are scenes "they really need" and like fine yes I still agree but why can't they just be done.

Red Life fic:

the first three sections are about incidents after turning red than made etho go "huh" about joel. they serve their purpose, but currently exist mostly in the form i scrawled down on the back of another fic in my car after the dentist. I could def describe things more, add a little more reflection about their place in the double life ecosystem as they start murdering and burning

gotta make good kiss at end, and the last bits of lead in, and the little bit after

the main issues here is that i gotta go rewatch DL ep 4 from multiple POVs. at minimum i need pearl's pov of dying, and maybe check for some other people's reactions to joel's shit that are not in smalletho vids but in universe they would have heard. (if only i could shove knowledge of every traffic episode fully into my head, sigh. so much content.

so that's not too bad!

fuck me there's 36 [] around words i don't like/phrases that need to be replaced/etc. fml fml fml

LARPer au morning after fic

apparently i'm adding all this backstory, which means i got to take it out o the author's notes, which i hope will make it more appealing. it's mostly about the party that this is morning after, but it's joel pov and *very* focused on getting laid, he's kinda aware that a lot of shit went down for pretty much everyone else

i want to add a very quick awkward bit with joel asking jimmy about the party the night before, currently he's totally succeeding at making joel (who is very distracted) think he's fine. and it's not gonna get explained in this story, but i'm not setting up a giant mystery, it's just more of "joel missed some shit last night". if that upsets people... i'm sorry! i'm actually very new t writing fic but it feels fine? it's a 5k story, alluding to the rest of the world seems fine

then it's just, fuck holding my breath... 40 sets of []. many many many of them, when i have people look at them, they say "that's fine", and it's just me at "will i have a time to struggle for a synonym/rephrasing

Dear everyone who compliments my writing skill (which i love, keep on doing it)

i hope you are not comparing yourself to me. here's some reasons why i probably have a leg (several legs?) up on you

i am very old and have been writing in one way or another possibly since before you could write.

I legit used to teach sat prep in writing, i have been trained in this and made money on it

if you live like i do, when you are my age you will also have a pretty big vocabulary

i usually edit a lot. I get beta, i throw problem sentences and such at friends, i've gotten proofreading from actual professionals. If i published most of my first drafts, well. I might not get as many "well written" compliments (though i think my plot and characterization would be similar levels of quality, my voices not so much - i have google docs for the way people talks and go through my dialogue looking for places to change things. it's actually great. i could share it?)

it's wild that what is my most popular fic by 3x is the one that went from thought of to posted in <12 hours and thus had only quick editing. so, it's not alway from editing

i just never want anyone who doesn't have those things to compare themself negatively to me, y'know? That said I'm a hypocrite, I compare myself negatively to professional writers in other fandoms. So, do as i say, etc

am i avoiding getting back to writing? yes

back to joel talking about asking scott to help him get tarted up

okay one last thing, me being pleased with my writing - i am jumping between my early 20s larper au and my late 20s/30s burning man au, and i think i am doing a good job at giving age appropriate characterizations to similar version of the same characters. my 21 year old Etho feels 21 to me and my early 30s Etho feels early 30s to me. These ensembles are very much based on my own experiences so I've got a lot to work with, 60 year olds would be harder :)

[runimanio]

2024 Game Clear #18 Ranma ½: Treasure of the Red Cat Gang

I've been really getting into Ranma½ lately, and after learning that there was a RPG with an English fan translation I knew I had to play through it as it is my god given duty to play through every turn based RPG licensed after a property I like and .... it's just okay

The fan translation has two versions one for fans of the anime and one for the manga, I chose the anime version because at this time that is the version of Ranma I'm more familiar with, I'm don't know what all the changes are in the manga patch as their doesn't seem to be a place online that documents all the differences. The translation seems pretty good especially for a early 2000s fan translation, there's perhaps one grip I have with it and it that they chose to name an equippable armor for the girls as just "bitch" which I feel is unnecessary and unprofessional (and frankly a bit confusing like what exactly am I equipping here?) I do lack the knowledge to properly criticizes the translation here but the guide I was using did choose to translate it to "Angry Dress" instead so I felt it was worth bringing up.

Now for the actual game itself. The Jusenkyo guide accidently broke a seal releasing The Ghost King Cat Nekomaou upon the world who seeks strong men to rebuild his Red Cat Gang and wishes acquire the three sacred treasures that can grant any wish when brought together. The Red Cat Gang kidnaps Ranma father Genma, Mousse and the students of Furinkan High to use as muscle. Ranma, Akane & Shampoo (Ryoga too but of course he immediately gets lost and separated from the party) sets off to save everyone and to acquire the three treasures in hopes of using the wish to cure Ranma of his curse.

I think it's a pretty strong set up for a Ranma RPG honestly, but in practice alot of the writting feels like a reheated version of what you know, if you watched even a couple of episodes of Ranma, you've seen all the jokes before just now it's in a pretty static form which doesn't really lend much strength to all the running gags, even the ghost cat stuff isn't really that special since Maomolin exists but weirdly unless I missed something they never actually point that out.

The party also doesn't banter among themselves as much as you'd hope, only really speaking up when it's time to do their running gag. Akane suffers the most from this I think, as perhaps 95% of her dialogue is getting angry at Ranma which very little moments (if any) that explore her more tender side. It's a Akane completely removed of nuance and I think that's lame

That said there was gags that I did think translated well into the RPG format, Having a party member like Ryoga who will just... keep walking unaware that he's leaving the party is pretty funny joke for a RPG, Genma continues to be the world worst dad, and Cat Fu gets to be a mechanic in a boss fight (though Ranma fear of cats isn't really brought up as much as you might think it would be considering the plot)

On the the actual gameplay side...I like a fair bit about it! It's pretty simple but I appreciate that it doesn't waste your time, a lot of other licensed rpgs that i've played try to hide the fact that they likely made the game in 8 months by forcing a brutal grind or by splitting up the party to hid a lack of meaningful progression.(looking at you Sailor Moon Another Story) I only really had to grind once at the end and it was a pretty light grind, the party does split up a bunch but it never feels like a tactic to artificially increase difficulty and therefore extend the game length then more the product of the Ranma cast being chaotic, it's a miracle that a party of these characters can hold together for 5 minutes.

That said I do wonder if they purposely made your movement speed in the overworld slow to compensate, it not that bad and you get used to it but it's pretty noticeably slow when you first start playing but even with that it's a very short rpg, I got through half the game in like 4 hours unquestionable the shortest tradition rpg i've ever beaten but I actually think it's to the game strength that it doesn't overstay it's welcome.

I general I don't look the look of this game but I do like how battles look, the special moves are flashy and I love that characters fly out of the arena when K.O, battle are pretty easy though you can pretty much get through everything by just spamming attacks, start doing basic rpg stratagems like using stat boosting abilities and your pretty much invincible, being too easy might seem like a detriment but i vastly prefer that to the likely alternate of a grindfest so it's fine

Last note on the gameplay is the UI isn't the best, visually it looks fine but it lacks a lot of information that would be useful to know, items & abilities don't have descriptions which can makes it hard to parse what something actually does even after using it if the effect isn't visually obvious which is why I kept a guide open to reference. you can also only see your ki amount in battles which isn't a big deal but a little annoying when you want to check if your ready before a boss fight

Ultimately though I think a RPG is just kinda a weird choice for a Ranma game, turning the chaotic gender swapping martial arts romance gag manga™ into a slow turn based rpg isn't the most natural match, there's probably way to make it work really well but It probably would take a longer timetable then the dev team probably had. There are Ranma fighting games and visual novels which seem like a better fit but i'm surprised out of all the IP in the 90's that got beat em ups Ranma wasn't one of them, somewhere out there there's a world with a banging Konami or River City style Ranma beat em up and im sad I don't live in that world lol.

With all that said and all my criticism aside... I do still recommend it for Ranma fans, it more time in this world and with these characters and it's a short painless experience so it's not a huge time sink, it's just whenever you merge a property I like with this genre I'm always gonna come in with higher expectations then I probably should have lol

[echos-muses]

did he expect her not to get married or something? did he expect her to wait around for him and wallow for the rest of her days? this man better have a DAMN GOOD EXPLANATION. i mean, fuck, he didn’t just break her heart, he fucking humiliated her in front of the entire kingdom, was completely secretive about it… she was quite literally one of the last to know. he didn’t even have the decency to tell her before he broke everything off. i really hope we get an aemond POV. i hope he sees how fucking sick he is for that. i hope he sees how much he has hurt her.

separating here for possible triggering content, as it will be discussing the effects of malnutrition, starvation, and sleep deprivation.

the first thing, over weeks and months of malnutrition can cause anemia (iron deficiency) or beriberi (thiamine deficiency). over time, the lack of proper sustenance will deplete the body’s reserve resources. the consequences of this is substantial weight loss.

within days, without eating, the body begins to feed on itself, using up the energy stores (carbohydrates, fats, and protein parts of tissue), and when it loses those reserves, it no longer has ability to supply necessary nutrients to vital organs and tissues.

her metabolism would slow, her body would not be able to regulate its temperature, her kidney function would be impaired, and her immune system weakened. (however being bonded to a dragon does help with this, as shown with king aenys i targaryen when he bonded with his dragon, quicksilver, causing him to no longer be small and sickly like he was in his years before)

her heart, lungs, and ovaries could shrink, along with her muscles, which will make her feel weak, and the loss of ability to regulate her body temperature would make her chilly quite frequently.

i personally have experienced extreme anemia, and with that i was very weak, light-headed, cold, had heart palpitations, brittle nails, headaches, shortness of breath, and i was very pale and tired. malnutrition will also cause her hair to shed faster than it grows, and likely lose its shine and body.

thiamine is something i did not know about until i looked this all up, because i had the thoughts, but wanted to make sure i wasn’t spewing false facts. thiamine is vitamin b-1. the deficiency is very rare though, but i’ll still dive into it for the information in case anyone wants the knowledge for angst (as long as it is PROPERLY marked!!) purposes.

people with this deficiency may experience muscle weakness, problems with coordination, or loss of muscle, as well as possible heart enlargement and fast heart rates, along with peripheral neuropathy (damage of the nerves located outside of the brain and spinal cord, which can cause weakness, numbness and pain, usually in the areas of the hands and feet), loss of appetite, sensations of pins and needles, shortness of breath, or swelling in extremities.

sleep deprivation is a bitch too. it can cause memory issues, mood changes, troubles with thinking and concentrating, and hallucinations, if it goes on long enough.

so, i guess what i’m saying is, i’m very interested to see how he’d feel and react to how he’s destroyed the woman he’s loved since childhood, who has been there with him through everything. if it’s as painful for him as it is for her. if vhagar feels anything.

okay, maybe i want him to suffer a little. (at least as much as she is, if not more so.)

detachment (1/2)

letting go and accepting what we can't change. detaching from the choices of others. turning away from harmful cravings. but…. did Aemond Targaryen truly loved you?

pairing: prince!aemond × niece!reader

summary: aemond not only breaks your heart after so many love promises, he also breaks his betrothal to you without any justification and announces his betrothal to a baratheon girl. now you will be married soon too.

word count: 7.9k

i do not own any character from the book "fire and blood" or the series "the house of the dragon" except my own character included. all rights reserved to George R. Martin and HBO.

hello! i'm very happy to be back with a new story. new characters and new plot, now with our prince aemond🥰before you read this, I want to tell you that there is no other team here, it's team aemond or nothing, although all of you may want another man in this universe haha but what you are going to read next, everything has an explanation okey? aemond is not the bad guy, although it seems so and I make you believe that he is😚 but you just have to wait for part 2 hehe

comments and reblogs are always appreciated, thank you so much for reading, you are all awesome❣

"I love you"

Those had been his words before you left King's Landing and after you returned for an indefinite time due to the condition of your grandsire, King Viserys.

But he had really felt them?

did Aemond Targaryen truly loved you?

For a time, both expressed their love and devotion for each other, proclaiming kisses, caresses and titles that they wanted to seal permanently with a Valyrian wedding.

The affection began as children. You were never mean to your uncle compared to your siblings and his older brother, Aegon. And fortunately Aemond always appreciated the good treatment he received from you.

And that good treatment led the two of you to start spending a lot of time together. By sharing a taste for literature, having interesting conversations about the history of your ancestors or even learning High Valyrian, you both formed a fondness and affection for each other.

There was never any objection from your mother, Princess Rhaenyra, about a friendship between her only daughter and her half-brother, the product of her father's second wife and once best friend.

Nevertheless, Alicent Hightower did have a problem.

When she began to notice her second son's affection for Princess Rhaenyra's daughter, she had to forbid him to spend time with you with more than strict measures and supervision.

"Mother said I must not spend time with you. She said that our duties are different and that I cannot learn embroidery with you and you cannot learn to use a sword with me."

He had told you once when the two of them met in the library sneaking around in the middle of the night with a sorrowful look and a sad tone of voice.

"My mother has never told me I can't spend time with you, Aemond. She has never forbidden me."

You had told him with such disappointment as you understood that the two of you could no longer spend time together and that all those readings together could no longer be possible, neither could High Valyrian lessons despite the fact that neither of you have a dragon yet.

"I know, Y/N."

And he had told you that with such resignation that tears began to form in your eyes.

"Then… we can't be friends anymore?"

And even though Aemond Targaryen at his young age has always been faithful to his mother in everything she told him, the most respectful and obedient, simply the polite and perfect son, seeing your tears and your sad face, at that moment he decided not to obey.

"I'm never going to let that happen. We'll still spend time together, I promise. But we'll have to be very careful."

He had told you to then take you in his arms, hugging you. A hug that you reciprocated instantly, making you feel better knowing that their friendship would continue.

And he keeps his word.

You begin to have secret meetings in the library, the kitchens or in the gardens, both being very careful not to be discovered.

The lessons of High Valyrian continued, also the readings of stories about Old Valyria, the reign of Aegon the Conqueror or the First Men.

Sometimes you would steal bread or cakes from the kitchens, then hide in the library or in the innermost corridors of the Keep where you knew you could not be found.

Everything was perfect. Two innocent children enjoying a friendship and at the same time preparing for their respective duties to the realm.

Until one day, your mother decided to leave with her whole family to Dragonstone.

It was a very hard blow for Aemond and you because you had never been separated before. Your mother had never even considered leaving King's Landing as she was the Heir to the Throne and very much aware that she must remain at Court.

But Alicent Hightower had been more astute and by her behavior managed to dispossess the princess of her own home.

So there is no alternative for you and Aemond to exchange letters and keep in touch as much as possible.

Once you arrived at Dragonstone, letters between the two of you were never lacking in that short period of time between your departure from King's Landing and then Aemond's accident at Driftmark.

Aunt Laena Velaryon had died and despite it being an unfortunate event, you were happy to see Aemond again and he too longed to feel close to you again.

However, the Gods are cruel and the accident marked Aemond's life forever, as well as the rivalry between Queen Alicent and Princess Rhaenyra.

And although Lucerys is your brother, Aemond, even in his state of hatred, never resented you for his lost eye, nor the clear rivalry between your mother and his.

On the contrary, the relationship between them was strengthened because you did not want to separate after such a fatal accident that made you cry while you hugged him tightly, thinking that maybe you could have lost him.

So the letters continued, some exchanges of gifts as well and even some secret visits that you allowed yourselves to have on the backs of your dragons to meet in a midpoint.

Or rather on a small island in Blackwater Bay.

Aemond had managed to claim Vhagar, the largest dragon in all the world and the one that once had Visenya Targaryen as a rider, while you claimed Silverwing, the dragon of the good queen Alyssane Targaryen.

Until King Viserys' health began to deteriorate in a serious and worrisome way, so your mother decided to return for an indefinite time to the Red Keep.

And the moment you and Aemond were reunited, that bond between the two of you only grew stronger, so everything formed the word courtship and it was no secret to your families.

It was no secret despite the clear rivalry between the Targaryens and the Hightowers and even more so with Alicent Hightower against the clear affection between his son and Y/N Velaryon.

But everyone knew that you are not a true Velaryon.

A bastard.

That's what you are in the eyes of the Hightower. And no matter that your hair was platinum like the Targaryen's, you were not the daughter of Laenor Velaryon, but probably of Daemon Targaryen.

Queen Alicent knows the depravity of Princess Rhaenyra and there was no other explanation for it, considering also that your brothers are bastards, but of Harwin Strong.

And Queen Alicent felt that spite and hatred for Princess Rhaenyra being so brazen and giving birth to children not legitimate. And the same thoughts she shared with her father, her children and Larys Strong.

However, Aemond didn't want to hear anything she told him about you.

He understood that his mother was angry with his half-sister, but that didn't mean she would have to turn him against you as well for something they had nothing to do with.

Bastard or not… you were always a good person to him regardless. And all Aemond wanted, as well as you too, was to be together.

It didn't matter that your brother was the boy who took his eye, that was a separate point for him.

And when you were ten and eight while Aemond was ten and nine, the talks and planning for a marriage began.

Marriage that was not approved by Alicent and Otto Hightower, but Aemond didn't care. He had already let too much time pass without making a move.

And that was dangerous considering that you are a princess of the realm and many lords had already asked for your hand. And because of your age, you had to make a decision now.

But you had already chosen him, in fact since you were a little girl. And now he had already done something about it by asking for your hand. And finally you could both call each other husband and wife, what you always wanted.

Your father, Daemon, didn't agree to the marriage, Jace didn't either. But your mother took your wishes into consideration and spoke to your grandsire, King Viserys, who approved and gave his blessing for a marriage between his son Aemond and his granddaughter Y/N.

At this, Queen Alicent could do nothing, much less Otto Hightower despite their replies and clear displeasure.

And when your mother gave you the news, it made you very happy to know that finally Aemond could call you his and you could call him yours.

"But are you completely sure about this, my love?"

Your mother asks you, looking at you with eyes of love and understanding, holding your hand. To which you only nod with a small smile on your lips.

"Yes."

She smiles too, stroking the back of your hand with her thumb. Then she lets out a long breath and nods as she lowers her gaze for a moment, which catches your attention.

"You agree, mother?"

She again looks at you with a slightly bewildered look.

"It doesn't matter what I think, sweet girl. What matters is that you really are sure that he is the man you want to spend the rest of your life with."

"I know but your opinion matters to me."

Again Rhaenyra's sweet smile returns to her lips, watching you adoringly for a few moments to again let out a small breath.

"Well… I saw that coming, in a way," she smiles at you, "And I think we all do, actually."

"So you don't feel uncomfortable?"

"No," she denies absurdly, "I remind you that I did exactly as you wish, my love."

"It doesn't hurt to ask you and want to know how you really feel, mother."

Your mother is silent for a few seconds, thinking about your words and thinking about her own next.

"Well… if we go back in time, certainly your grandsire must have felt uncomfortable and… weird about the idea of his brother and his only daughter at the time together," she says sympathetically, "something I never understood until now that I get to be in the same position as him. But that's our family and I couldn't oppose the idea of what you wish," she assures you, "Ever since you and Aemond started being inseparable as children, I knew it would turn out like this. And I knew that the thought of you both being meant to burn together could not be inevitable. And I understand that perfectly."

You nod slowly, listening and understanding his words, thinking.

"But father doesn't think the same," you say with some disappointment, "Neither do my brothers. They are upset with this and with me, I know."

"My love, you don't worry about them," your mother tells you immediately, "your father will eventually understand, he can't be such a hypocrite, can he? And your brothers… they don't see that this will probably put an end to the rivalry between the two families, despite what happened in Driftmark. I don't expect Aemond to forgive Luke either, but there's always a chance and hope," she assures you, "So this is good, very good. Otherwise, Aemond would not have asked for your hand and I would not have spoken to the king to give his blessing."

That time your mother's words could not have comforted you more, making you feel genuinely happy and no longer feeling worried about the people around you because of your marriage to Aemond.

And that time you had also gone in search of Aemond after leaving your mother's chamber, finding him in the library, feeling relieved and happy.

"I spoke to my mother," you tell him, intertwining your fingers with his, "She said to be sure to set a date for the wedding with the king and she will tell us as soon as they come to an agreement."

Aemond watches you with a barely visible half-smile, all his gaze soft and watching you intently, with fondness and longing, noticing how you can't help but be excited about the wedding.

"And do you have any preferences for the wedding you'd like to share with me?"

He asks you softly, completely catching your attention, smiling at him.

"Actually, I should be asking you that question," you take a seat next to him, not letting go of his hand.

"I was the one who insisted on a traditional wedding," he reminds you with an obvious look, "You know I would prefer the Valyrian wedding, just like you. Less people, few witnesses and everything just like the tradition of our house."

"The traditional wedding thing you asked for taking your mother's wish into consideration. She doesn't approve of this, so that's the only way to keep her less angry," you also remind him, "Still after our wedding at the Septon, we can fly to Dragonstone and have the Valyrian wedding we want so much. We can even stay there, just you and me."

Aemond smiles, bringing your hand to his lips, leaving chaste, soft kisses on the back of yours, understanding perfectly what you are implying, just what he desires as well.

"No celebration feast, then?" he peers over your hand.

"You want a feast?"

"It doesn't matter what I want, Y/N. All I want is to marry you and unite our blood, that's all that matters to me."

You smile softly, moving a little closer towards him.

"I know, nothing is more important to me too," you tell him softly, "but don't be so insensitive about the preparations, Aemond," you tell him amused.

He rolls his eye, still smiling and still not letting go of your hand for wanting to keep feeling your touch.

"Well, then tell me what's concerning you."

"They are not concerns, I just want to know your opinion and take into consideration some wishes you want to make."

"And what are those?"

"Well… your opinion would help me to know about what colors of the dress I should wear."

Aemond stops his caresses on your hand and watches you with a thin line on his lips and really expressionless for a few seconds without saying anything.

"I know perfectly well that this is about a concern of yours, Y/N," he finally tells you afterwards.

"Well, yes, yes it is a concern," you reluctantly confess.

"The colors of a dress?"

"Well, what am I supposed to do? Wear green or red?"

"My love, the dress will be yours, not mine. Besides, I know you don't like green."

"Yes but that color is yours."

"No, it's not mine, green is my mother's color," he reminds you, "I may wear it sometimes, but we are both more Targaryen than anything. So if you must choose colors, let them be red and black, just the same colors I will wear."

At that moment in front of him you don't show it, but you feel really relieved to hear his words, the dress being an issue that really had you worried sick.

So you get up, let out a long breath and sit on his lap, him instantly accepting you in his arms, while you drop your head on his chest in a defeated motion.

"What would I do without you," you murmur.

Aemond lets out a small laugh.

"'Rather what would I do without you, Issa jorrāelagon."

You let out a long breath, closing your eyes, taking comfort in the fact that you are in the arms of Aemond, the man you love.

"You're right," you murmur, "All I want is to call a Septon and have him marry us right now with no preparations and no other planning. I was going crazy over a dress and it's only the beginning."

"Don't worry, my love," he assures you softly, "We will plan the whole wedding together, without any third opinions and wishes. And in the end, it will all have been worth it. We'll finally be married, what we've always wanted."

You smile softly, lifting your face a little towards him to watch him, to which he also watches you, seeing your face light up, full of illusion and excitement.

"I still can't believe it."

""You know there's no turning back now, don't you? Once I see you at the Septon, you're already bound to me forever."

"Just what I've always wanted. Unless you don't want to."

"Of course I want to, I'm just warning you," he tells you with a smile, "And I also remind you that the blood of the dragon runs thick."

"We are lucky we share the same blood, my love."

Unable to help yourself any longer, Aemond's lips just above you being an invitation you complacently want to heed, you place your hands on his cheeks and begin to caress your lips with his, sharing a soft, affection-filled kiss that he reciprocates, holding you by your waist.

And even though you have shared countless kisses before, this one is undoubtedly different, because very soon he will be yours and you will be his, finally.

"Avy jorrāelan," you murmur against his lips.

"Avy jorrāelan, Issa gevie ābrazȳrys."

You let out a small laugh at his lips, pulling away from him a little.

"I'm not your wife yet."

"And your point is…?"

You laugh again, stroking his long hair, watching his handsome face, stroking his scar as well, watching him with desire and adoration, all of him being what you want.

"Yet you will be soon."

And again he pulls you close in a needy kiss which you reciprocate instantly, really not looking forward to the big day anymore, wanting, no, rather needing to call him your husband as soon as possible.

And finally you can tell when the big day will be you are with Aemond in the gardens, both of you taking a walk before he goes to take his daily sword training and you get the seamstress to plan your dress, when your mother appears and approaches you both.

She has a small smile on her face, so you can tell this is good news.

"I spoke with the king a few moments ago. The Maester's are taking very good care of him and we have finally agreed on a date for the wedding."

"I hope it is soon, sister," Aemond says to your surprise, listening and watching your mother carefully, with a serious look, "Though I would not be surprised if my father in his state, blinded by the milk of Poppy, has suggested the end of the year."

"No, it's not like that, brother," she tells him almost in the same condescending tone, "I let him know what you are expecting and the date has been dictated for before the end of spring, on another moon."

You hold back your huge smile and excitement, holding Aemond's hand a little tightly in a second out of excitement, that just sounding perfect, just what you wished for.

And even though you know Aemond must also feel the same happiness, he doesn't show it in front of your mother, holding back.

"Does my mother know?" he asks your mother in a softer tone.

Rhaenyra denies with a serious but restrained look of sadness and disappointment.

"No," she clears her throat, lowering her gaze for a moment, "I thought you would want to tell her," she confesses to him, "I never find the opportunity to talk to her," she purses her lips, "She won't let me."

Aemond at your side just nods in her direction, understanding. He also understands that this behavior on his mother's part towards his half-sister has always been there since she returned to the Keep.

And he doesn't think that will change, even after the wedding, but he appreciates Rhaenyra's efforts to try to talk to her and not leave her out of his wedding, despite her insensitivity at Driftmark.

It doesn't mean he'll be nice and friendly to her, it's just that little appreciation.

Then slowly Aemond turns to you and leaves a soft kiss on your forehead, locking you in his arms for a moment, wanting to feel you close.

You smile and hug him back, turning your face to look at your mother with a small more than happy smile on your lips, your mother also smiling in your direction, honestly feeling happy for the both of you.

News of the date begins to spread among the families and soon after throughout the Court as well, with the wedding of Prince Aemond Targaryen and Princess Y/N Velaryon being the most anticipated of the year.

It was still something Otto and Alicent Hightower didn't want, neither did Daemon Targaryen, but the king had already given his blessing and he himself wanted the news to spread throughout Westeros, wanting a truly unforgettable wedding.

Until a few days after your mother let you both know the wedding date, you unexpectedly began to see Aemond less frequently.

Usually the two of you every day go for a walk in the garden or meet in the library. And if you don't have time during the day, at night he sneaks into your chamber or you sneak into his through the secret passages.

However, none of that also happened to make up for lost time.

You would see him a few moments at the training yard with Criston Cole and a few other knights, but that was about it. And when you looked for him in the library, it looked like he wasn't going to spend any more time there.

And just when you decided to sneak through the secret passages to go to his chambers, you stopped and thought to yourself that maybe he's nervous and needs time to think about the wedding.

The wedding of the two of you is something you were longing for since you understood the meaning of a union that now that it's finally going to happen…probably has him very anxious and needs space.

Until the days go by and you start to feel that something is wrong, as you realize that he is avoiding you, something he has never done before.

You tried to talk to him but Criston Cole would let you know that he was having a meeting with his grandsire or was in the company of the queen. He would also tell you that the prince was out for a ride on his dragon.

You asked him to send him a message from you when he saw him, but it seemed that those messages never reached his ears or if they did, he ignored you.

And when you went to look for him at the training yard, you were told that the prince had skipped his training or had already trained very early in the morning, leaving you confused and not understanding anything.

You were completely disconcerted that the two of you suddenly stopped seeing each other and spending time together, so without thinking about it, one night you took the secret passage and slipped into the darkness with a candle in your hand and headed to Aemond's chambers.

But as you try to push his secret door, confusion overcomes you and your pulse stops for a moment when it won't open, being blocked by something from the other side.

You think about shouting his name, but instantly you know it's a very bad idea as you can't risk the secrecy of the passageways out of desperation.

But more and more disappointment and worry fill you, not understanding what is happening and thinking that it must be something bad.

At this, you show your concern to your mother, who continues to attend to matters at court, keeping an eye on the king's health and helping you with the preparations for the wedding.

"Sure it's nothing, sweet girl. Men act in ways we don't understand, just as we act in ways they don't understand us. Perhaps he is preparing to be a good husband to you and both of you to do your duty for the realm.

"But it seems so strange to me," you say worried, "He doesn't talk to me, I practically don't see him and he even seems to avoid me."

"Have you tried to talk to him yet?"

"Yes, yes, all the time," you reply in an instant, "He even said he would help me get everything ready for the wedding but… I never see him."

"Y/N….

"I just don't understand, mother. We used to spend time together and now that we're finally getting married, he's acting weird."

"Sweet girl…

"Or is it that he doesn't want to marry me anymore?"

You interrupt him with a broken voice and utter disappointment and sadness in your eyes, realization starting to creep into your mind, really not understanding anything.

"My love, you shouldn't go to extremes," your mother tells you in an instant, not wanting you to get upset and start thinking the worst, "He's been longing for this wedding as much as you have. He's probably just nervous and just needs time and space."

You look at your beautiful mother not so sure.

"Are you sure?" you ask her in a breathy whisper.

"Yes, my love, very sure."

She quickly moves towards you to lock you in her arms and comfort you, telling you that everything will be all right and that what you want so much , will finally happen.

But if only that had been it.

Not long after talking to your mother, once you head to your mother's chambers after leaving the chambers of your sweet Aunt Helaena with whom you were discussing some lovely ideas for the wedding, a guard intercepts you in the middle of the hallway, stopping you.

"Prince Aemond requires your presence in the Council Chamber, Princess. Immediately."

Such words could not have made you feel happier and relieved, finally ending this torture, so you quickly make your way to the Council Chamber, in an instant thinking about why Aemond has asked to see you there.

But honestly you don't care, all you want is to finally see him and talk to him.

And in an instant you already find yourself walking through the doors of the Council Chamber, happy to see Aemond's figure finally, standing with his back to you from the other side of the table, waiting for you.

But you must have thought something was wrong when he didn't even turn to look at you when he heard the sound of the doors opening and your footsteps approaching.

"My love, I'm so relieved to finally see you," you say with a smile, approaching him happily, "I was so worried, you don't know how much I wanted to see you and talk to you. I have so much to tell you, I even came to think that….

"I won't marry you."

Then your whole world stops, just like your feet, stopping abruptly at his words, your smile fading in a second and watching him now in shock.

The room goes completely silent, with no one else present, just the two of you, not even a guard present at his request for discretion… for now.

"I have spoken to my father… I have already cancelled all preparations, the Septon and my family have also been made aware."

And at his words, you feel like each one of them is a knife straight to your heart, tearing it from the inside, feeling an intent, sharp pain in your chest.

You look at him with your lips parted, your gaze completely bewildered and your eyes starting to fill with tears.

You are completely paralyzed, unable to move despite feeling yourself start to tremble, seeing him not even look back at you, telling you all this without any emotion, as if it meant nothing.

"Your family must also be being notified right now, the whole Court will know soon too."

"But…

You try to say with a thread of a voice, but he again speaks, still turning his back to you and with no emotion in his voice, no emotion in his posture either, leaving you to see a man you don't know completely.

"That's all. You can go now."

Disbelief is completely reflected in your gaze, truly not understanding anything, with tears starting to involuntarily flow out of your eyes at his coldness and insensitivity.

Because he's already done everything… without you having the slightest idea.

"Are you serious?"

You manage to say, your voice completely broken and in a whisper, needing to sit up or lean against something, feeling your strength go.

"Doesn't it sound like I'm serious?" he inquires.

"Aemond…

"I told you that's all, you can go now," he repeats you with the same seriousness and coldness, as if you were nobody to him.

Then the first sob escapes your lips, trying to control yourself, but you cannot.

You continue to stand there, watching him with all the sadness in the world, also with all the confusion, really not understanding anything, needing an explanation, wanting to know why, what you have done wrong, what has happened, why he so suddenly changed his mind.

Everything was fine, everything seemed fine, that you just don't understand.

"I-I don't… I don't understand anything, I-I….

"If you don't leave Y/N, I'll leave," he warns you, without even looking you in the eye for a second.

"But you… I-I… I thought…

He won't let you talk, he just doesn't want to listen to you and just like he said, that's what he does. He lets out a frustrated sigh and heads out of the Council Chamber, leaving you behind, heartbroken and not knowing why.

"Aemond," you call out to him between sobs, pleading.

Not knowing where you have drawn strength from, you move towards him once he is within reach, grabbing his arm, wanting to stop him and make him explain, but as soon as you reach him, he quickly pushes you away in a sharp, tactless movement, treating you, again, as if you were nobody.

"Don't,"" he warns you in a threatening and cold tone, resuming his way to the doors in a more hurried pace, not even looking back.

His demeanor and coldness leave you completely shocked and static, never in a million years expecting such behavior from him towards you.

And once he leaves the Council Chamber, you feel your heart completely broken and your mind a mess of emotions, wanting to believe that this is not real, starting to cry and sob loudly.

A complete mess, Aemond leaves you there without explanation and without caring at all about your feelings, all being said and done.

Not long after, your mother and father rush into the Council Chamber, looking for you, finding you still a mess and you quickly asking them for explanations, explanations they had no idea about either.

And all that time, you kept asking yourself why, why he had done this to you if he was supposed to love you and want to marry you.

But nobody understood anything. Only he knew why he had done it.

Weeks have passed since the announcement of the cancelled betrothal between prince Aemond and princess Y/N.

You being the protagonist of the topic to talk about, even so the men and women of the Court were not at all dissimulated and kept feeding the news more and more with each passing day.

Different rumors ran about the possible cause that caused the wedding to be canceled, rumors that you did not want to hear and for which you ended up locking yourself in your chamber, not wanting to see anyone.

You barely slept and barely ate, watching the days pass by through your windows slowly, with huge bags under your eyes and dismissing your maids whenever they wanted to assist you.

You hadn't seen him since that conversation either.

You didn't hear from anyone except your family who were in charge of making you react by going into your chamber to take a bath and eat something, your mother extremely worried about you and your father specifically having someone in mind for wanting to murder upon seeing your state.

Everyone was still as confused as you were, even your mother asked Queen Alicent for an explanation, but to no avail. She even tried to talk to Aemond, but he wouldn't let her, saying that everything was already done.

It was so much the humiliation that not even your mother would force you to leave your chamber, no matter how much she wanted to get you out of your four walls, Daemon feeling extremely upset and indignant.

Your brothers never said anything to you, but they were extremely worried about you too, as were your sisters Baela and Rhaena.

Even your grandmother Rhaenys sent her concerns from Driftmark, but no one had any explanations for anyone.

And you too, despite everything, still wanted an explanation from him. You wanted to understand, you wanted to know why… because you needed to, you needed to know.

But you never tried to talk to him again. How could you if he had left you totally devastated with no justification?

And you knew that if you tried, Aemond wouldn't be willing to talk to you. He found it easier to forget and move on, as if nothing had happened, without caring, just what he is doing now.

Until one day the king requested a dinner with every member of his family, including you, without any exception, wanting to have a dinner with everyone together, wanting the waters to calm down after so much tension.

Your mother assured you that your grandsire was no longer blinded by the milk of poppy, that he made sure to drink less of it now, and yet you thought that your grandsire still conscious, made the worst decisions.

You could no longer continue to take refuge in your chambers, so with no alternative, your maids prepare you for dinner, dressing you and making you a hairstyle as usual, nothing new and nothing missing.

"You can do this, my sweet girl," your loving mother says to you, holding your face with both her hands, "We will be with you at all times. I will be with you always by your side," she assures you, "You just ignore him, ignore them all, I will do the rest. Let's just please your grandsire on this, all right?"

Unable to help yourself, you hug your mother tightly and in one needy movement, to which she hugs you back with all that love and all that comfort you so desperately need, understanding you completely.

You try not to cry, because you've cried too much already and you're tired of it, but now you can't help it, needing your perfect mother for strength.

"Thank you," you murmur into her chest.

"I love you, my love. I would do anything for you."

You smile with happiness and sadness at the same time, with pain, starting to cry, trying not to make noise.

"I love you too."

She then tells you that you can stay a moment longer in her chambers before leaving to give you time, but what you don't want is to draw attention to yourself, so you prefer to arrive before anyone else in the dining room.

Then your whole family takes their respective seats, your father instantly giving you the seat next to your mother so that you are not sitting across from him, everyone knowing perfectly well which is his usual seat.

Then the doors open again and it's them, all the green ones.

You lower your gaze and pretend not to care about anything as he walks through the doors, following Aegon, just being in the same room as him making you feel something you don't know exactly what it is but you don't like it, feeling uncomfortable as well.

He doesn't look a single second in your direction either, but instantly being the center of attention of your father, who is the one who takes a seat in front of him, with Rhaena and Luke.

Shortly after, the king makes his entrance, everyone rising from their seats to greet him.

And more shortly after, you want to say that time fortunately passes quickly but unfortunately it doesn't, so you just suffer in silence, with your mother holding your hand from time to time, wanting to give you all her possible support in this.

The servants serve the food and wine, that fortunately distracting you, also the music your grandsire orders to play, this being a bit more bearable.

But all you want to do is get out of this room and never be in the company of all the Hightowers ever again.

You know that sweet Helaena is not to blame for anything, but she is part of them too by being Aegon's wife and already having three children with him.

And that couldn't make you sadder… sweet Helaena being wife to a man who doesn't deserve her.

Your father offers you his hand in a moment as Rhaena and Luke rise from their seats and head to the center to dance, also Jace invites Helaena.

Your father shows you his support even though he had said from the beginning that your betrothal to Aemond was a bad idea. But you are also his sweet little girl and he lets you know that he will always be there for you.

When the moment is interrupted by Otto Hightower, wanting to make an announcement, stopping the music and drawing the attention of everyone in the room.

You exchange a glance with your father, you don't even look in Otto's direction when everyone else does, because he is so close to his grandsire.

"Now that we're all together, I'm very pleased to let you know the great news…..

Otto Hightower says and you raise your wine glass to your lips, not really caring.

"My grandson Prince Daeron who is in Oldtown, will soon return to the capital to marry Cerelle Lannister, daughter of our Naval advisor, Jason Lannister," he announces proudly.

Everything is silent for a few seconds, you still not giving importance to anything or anyone, still thinking about the great news, definitely.

You didn't even remember Daeron, he's been so long away from Kings Landing that it's impossible to remember him. And before anyone says anything, just to corroborate what Otto is saying, he again speaks up.

"It is also my pleasure to inform you that my grandson Aemond….

Your heart stops for a second, as well as that definitely catches everyone's attention, everyone listening attentively and you too, unconsciously.

"He has also been betrothed to one of Lord Borros Baratheon's four daughters, the lady Floris Baratheon," he says and continues, "these two marriages clearly being more than excellent benefits to the house of the dragon and so securing our bloods, both the common and the blood of old Valyria."

At that moment you did not notice the exchange of glances from your brothers and sisters, also the mocking smile that your father let out when he heard the man's words, as well as the serious look on your mother's face when she heard everything.

You just focused on yourself, pretending none of it mattered to you, feigning indifference, when your mind could only repeat one thing at all times:

"My grandson Aemond has also been betrothed to one of Lord Borros Baratheon's four daughters, the Lady Floris Baratheon."

You want to cry. And a lot.

However, it was only more humiliation than necessary and you had to control yourself, needing this dinner to be over as soon as possible.

Again absolute silence is in the huge room, you couldn't care less.

When Alicent is the first to congratulate her son, as well as your grandsire in a weak and hoarse voice, then your mother also offers the coldest congratulations she has ever given, simply to keep up appearances.

And you can only think: was this necessary?

How mean Otto Hightower had to be and so did Alicent to want to humiliate you further by announcing such a thing, to you and your entire family for that matter. It just wasn't necessary.

Until finally the dinner is over and everyone can leave once the king takes his leave and retires to his chambers first.

Completely controlling your tears, you enter your room with your father more than furious, followed by your mother and your brothers and sisters.

"What the fuck was that!?" he inquires to your mother.

"My love…

"Do you really think I'm just going to stand here and do nothing!?"

"Oh really? And what are you going to do?" asks your mother too, seriously, "Cut off the heads of Aemond and Otto Hightower?

"They have humiliated us, Rhaenyra!" he exclaims to her in annoyance, "they can talk and humiliate me all they want, but they will not humiliate you or my family!"

"Father…

Baela tries to talk to him, but he won't let her.

"We're going to go talk to Viserys this instant and Y/N's wedding to that fucking one-eyed is going to happen."

"Are you serious?" your mother inquires again, "Husband, you were the first to oppose the marriage."

"They have humiliated our daughter, don't you see!" he points out angrily, "her marriage to Aemond would have given us more power over them if we had him and Vhagar on our side. Now by the time Viserys dies, you're not going to have enough support for your claim," he tells her seriously, "We need Lord Borros on our side as well."

"Daemon, this isn't about the crown, this is about our daughter."

"And that is exactly why I will not let such humiliation pass," he tells her seriously and with a dark look on his face, "he asked for Y/N's hand, he gave you a whole speech to allow him to marry her, now he keeps his word or he marries no one, just like that."

"I want to go home."

You speak in the middle of all the discussion, staring at an unimportant spot in your chamber, tears running down your cheeks, your sad, tired, broken voice calling for everyone's attention.

Your mother and sisters quickly turn to you, concerned about your condition.

"What is it, my love?"

Your mother asks you, running her hands through your hair, watching you intently.

"I want to go home," you repeat, "I want to go to Dragonstone."

Your mother immediately looks at your father, who looks back at her, serious and attentive to you, feeling more upset at seeing you so broken.

"My love, we can't leave," your mother tells you in a soft voice, "We need to take care of your grandsire and stay at Court, as it should be."

"You stay here," you say in an instant, "I will go."

Your mother denies, understanding you, but unable to allow it.

"My love, don't…

"Please," you plead, "please, Mother. At least just for a little while, I promise I'll come back later," you beg, "But now… I just want to get out of here, please."

Your mother watches you for a few moments without saying anything with her lips parted, again exchanging a glance with Daemon, who nods slightly in her direction.

But Rhaenyra won't let you go just like that. She is your mother, after all.

"You'll be alone, my sweet," she says with some fear, "I can't leave you alone and I won't be at ease with that."

"She won't be," Rhaena says instantly, drawing everyone's attention, "I'll go with her and Luke will too. We'll come back when she's ready."

"No, absolutely not," says your mother resolutely, "I can't have the three of you in Dragonstone alone, no….

"Let them," your father interrupts, "I'd rather Y/N leave this snake pit until everything calms down. I feel better with the idea of Rhaena and Luke accompanying her, so the three of them will take care of each other."

"And we won't necessarily always have to stay at Dragonstone," Rhaena adds, "We can fly to Driftmark and spend a few days keeping our grandmother company too."

Your mother turns your gaze to you, who you completely beg with your gaze to let you do this, to let you go for now.

And of course, you feel completely grateful to Rhaena and your little brother for not letting you go alone. Clearly Jace and Baela are the heirs after your parents and it makes the most sense for them to stay here at Court.

Until finally your mother lets out a long breath, not herself believing she will accept this, being too afraid to let her children go to Dragonstone alone.

Though she knows there is no better safe place for them, even safer than King's Landing.

" All right," she finally says, "But I'll fly with you there and then I'll come back, just to make sure everything will be okay."

You immediately nod, not really caring, since all you want to do is get out of here and not come back.

Again your mother hugs you, transmitting all that comfort and affection you always need from her, really not wanting to leave here. You were so excited to go back to the Keep but you weren't expecting any of this to happen.

And now you just want to go home and come back when you feel better.

Soon enough you find yourself in Dragonpit, with your mother, Luke and Rhaena ready to fly to Dragonstone, with your father, Jace, Baela, Joffrey, little Aegon and little Viserys seeing them off.

And as soon as you finish saying goodbye, the sooner you find yourself in the skies and the sooner you arrive at the black castle, your home. You needed to let many moons pass to cope with your broken heart and such humiliation, also to accept that Aemond never really loved you and that he would soon marry another woman who would not be you.

All the while shedding tears, lasting more nights without sleep and more days with no appetite for anything, only finding comfort in riding your dragon as your mother was not around.

But Silverwing was always there for you and could feel everything you felt.

Until one day, more moons after your departure from King's Landing, Rhaenyra and Daemon Targaryen return to Dragonstone with their entire family for a short time, promising to return soon.

And shortly after the Heir to the Throne leaves King's Landing, a raven arrives at the Red Keep, announcing the unexpected new news.

The Heir, Princess Rhaenyra returns to King's Landing in less than two moons with her King consort Prince Daemon and her entire family to celebrate the wedding of Princess Y/N Velaryon to Lord Cregan Stark, Lord of Winterfell.

And that message is spread all over the Red Keep, all over King's Landing and eventually all over Westeros.

[asoulofatlantis]

Okay, now that I have eaten (too much), drank some water and took a big red painkiller its time to go back to playing Reverie.

Yeah and it was quite the ordeal, so this better be worth it!

WOAH! If you thought his Dad-Mood was scary in the spreadsheet-translation then look at this and think again. Not just that here he clearly says “my child” were it was “our child” (as in the SSSs Child) here, but I am pretty sure he wasn’t that aggressive in the fan translation either. Its... scary to admit that him being in overprotective “touch my daughter and you are dead!” - mood makes him oddly attractive... uh... just forget that I said that!

*achem* That aside, I would love to know which translation is closer to the truth because for once, I like NIS adaptation better XD

Ah right. That is were Dr.Seiland was. I forgot about that... I was a bit occupied with other things in this chapter to be honest. Mainly Reans route causing me to scream in Panic like 5 times in a row... but we get there later. (In any case... I do still believe there is something up with that Doctor we yet have to find out about. It seems awfully weird to put a face to a mostly random doctor, even if it is a good one. It could easily be that they will use her as a great doctor again or something like this. But trusting Doctors or Scientist or ANYONE with a Labcoat really proves to be rather hard in Falcom games ^^’ (Erika aside, she is too much of a mother to join the organisation that could have harmed her dear Tita before...)

At this point Erikas desperate tries to get Agate away from Tita by being the bitch she sometimes is, has started to be more amusing then annoying. Agate is there to stay, so... instead of worrying about whatever Erika could do to cause him to run, we should be amused by how hard she is trying even tho I am pretty sure she has secretly long accepted that she has lost that battle.

Did you ever saw the theory that McBurn might actually be Epstein? At first I felt like that it made no sense, but... given that we know that Epstein suddenly vanished and that he was making experiments and stuff far beyond of what our amazing Engineers and even his own disciples are capable of... it doesn’t seem so unlikely that he broke the divergent laws and accidentally or on purpose fused with some sort of otherworldly being? Not to mention that we still haven’t fully figured out what the Genesis were capable off and those were in his position, as far as we know. So... it doesn’t seem totally impossible at this point. Especially since it seems and awfully weird detail that he is wearing glasses...

I am interested to one day find out the truth behind his story and see if the theories at least scratched the surface of what is the real truth.

Its scary to think of what this will mean for our future. Imagine all the people we might met that might not be the real deal in the future. I mean like that, literally everyone could be replaced by a machine without even the most dedicated players ever noticing it until it gets revealed. Scary!

I will always hate missions like that...

Way to make an entrance Noel XD

Lloyd... I think we established playing dead is not your thing XD

That was cruel!

Now we have Renne in overprotective-daughter-mood. What an exhausting chapter this is... spectacular, but freaking exhausting.

Being a doll is certainly not easy, that much is for sure. But have no fear, Rufus is here! (You will get that in a moment.)

This scene was so cute... but then Rufus had to ruin it for me forever that damned Idiot! (You will get that one in the next chapter...)

Well whatever... in that moment it was still cute... even with the knowledge I have.

[tariqchosenone]

April 8th 2023 the light is coming

My name is Tariq Degraffinreed and I graduated from Desales high school in Columbus ohio and I'm 29 years old black American and my ancestors were made in the image of God (read Genesis chapter 1 in the bible and it will show you they eat herbs and fruit from trees).

I am a god and Genesis chapter 1 explains what my purpose is.

And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth. So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them. And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.

Genesis 1:26‭-‬28 KJV

https://bible.com/bible/1/gen.1.26-28.KJV

Being fruitful is gathering material goods and items (raw/man made) Having sex or masturbating and making money and producing art, having fun, building and constructing material goods.

Multiplying and replenishing thr earth is having children and your grandchildren must be abundant, replenishing means the race of Gods was destroyed previously.

And subduing the earth means to conquer the earth and take its resources for yourself.

Adam and Eve were created in chapter 2 of Genesis and they are human beings who sole purpose is to serve Gods like Jake Paul, Tyler the creator, Beyonce, Jay Z Nicki minaj, Ariana Grande Charli Damelio Cardi B and offset and all A-list celebrities are Gods that human beings serve.

Yes it is true black people came from Abraham and they are Jews and they are royalty but the gods I listed above are over them in power and those God's have dominion and shall rule over black israelites.

Now Adam and Eve and the serpent in Genesis chapter 3.

Read that chapter first then come back to this part my blog post.

Eve being deceived by the snake is not the main part of the serpent and Eve story.

Men must replace Eve with a random man and the serpent with a beautiful women.

A beautiful woman deceived a man into eating fruit from the tree of knowledge.

The fruit is sex and the tree of knowledge symbolizes sex and strength and glory and power and blessing and wisdom and might.

A man must have high testosterone, take supplements, play sports with intensity, eat clean and he must curve bad bitches by ignoring all female attention and he must understand himself and his own personality and then he can find true power and strength.

Just know this, there is no secret formula for sex for a man or for a female.

A man must be strong and have high testosterone and master sports and eat a vegan diet and he must understand female make up and hair products.

A woman must own make up and do her hair and recognize that a goddess must be vegan. And do her nails and do her feet and have great skin care and smell good and be on top of all that.

If you are a goddess you master 1 sport and be passionate about your sport.

If you are a man you must master 3 sports

Personally I'm fantastic soccer and I'm okay at track and field and I'm so-so at baseball and I can shoot 3s in basketball

These are what God's should eat in the bible.

(And God said, Behold, I have given you every herb bearing seed, which is upon the face of all the earth, and every tree, in the which is the fruit of a tree yielding seed; to you it shall be for meat.

Genesis 1:29 KJV

https://bible.com/bible/1/gen.1.29.KJV).

April 8th 2023 the light is coming to give back everything the darkness stole (shoutout Ariana grande and Nicki minaj)

All the pain will go away and some men will marry a female angel and some women will marry a male angel.

Everything you see at the mall or grocery store will make you more happy and fruitful (sexual happiness).

Be fruitful and multiply.

[the-hem]

"This and That." From the Suka Rahasya Upanishad, “The Exploration of the Mysteries of Happiness.”

From the first section of the Upanishad we learned OM BRAHMA VASAT SVAHA HUM PHAT means:

“The Supreme Soul, who dwells in all articles of blessedness resides also within me and my big fat missile, this I do declare.”

Once the Declaration is made, as with any aspect associated with spiritual practices, one must open the heart through meditation if the inherent meaning within its seeds are to sprout.

The heart, the compass of how others feel is the seed of all religion. Greed turns the heart off, its removal opens the observer to the ways others behave when they are happy.

Failure to recognize how unhappy others are so you can do whatever is called sociopathy. The entire purpose of the Script and church attendance and  so many yoga, meditation, and Bible Study websites is to curb the unnatural, inhumane tendencies that lead to uncivilized, sociopathic societies. We have seen what these look like; we are living in history’s worst at this very moment.

Even still, like you, I don’t want to have all that bad a day, let us resort to the advice in the Upanishad and see if there isn’t a really good way instead to pass the time today:

21-22. Meditation: I bow to the noble teacher, beyond becoming and the three Gunas, one, eternal, holy, witness of all knowledge, giver of bliss, beyond the world, sky-like, purpose of major texts.

 The four major passages: (1) Consciousness is Brahman (2) I am Brahman (3) That Thou Art and (4) This self is Brahman. Those who recite the statement of identity become liberated in Sayujya (identity).

The Upanishad says “God is the Holy Witness of knowledge.” What does that mean for us, that we can witness the Witness? That means we must know what He knows. From whence comes the rather frequent permission we give ourselves to pretend we are clueless?

First and foremost we must not teach or learn about God in a way that assuages people into thinking they can be ignorant. To foster or remain in a state of continued ignorance is sin and God will not forgive it. You may not pretend guns are okay, you may not say climate change isn’t happening when it is, you may not run down the streets in the quantities of millions bitching and moaning over how other people schcrew.

The cure for the bitchers and their beholders is the same, full understanding of these Four Great Statements:

Consciousness if a gift of God. We don’t know how it happens. Man cannot artificially induce consciousness.  To be aware is the most mysterious and mountainous experience in the universe. To modify consciousness with unnecessary suffering it is greatest and most horrific crime. Guns, invasions, Republicans, Family Research Councils, Pro-Life, Fox News, all the things that are getting us down, these are examples of unnecessary sufferings that we could and should learn to do without and observe the creation just as it is without the voices of oppression ringing from end to end.  

The Supreme Soul, the source of unlimited consciousness, is modified through limited consciousness, AKA the soul. We obviously can’t see and think through everything that happens in creation, but we can extrapolate. The ability to extrapolate the infinite especially by reading scripture is the source of all intelligence and human accomplishment.

This and That we are. Intelligent conception of reality unbinds us from sin. Mistakes are not sins. Behaviors that deconstruct the reality God gave us and intends for us to capitalize upon are sins. Gracious acts, which come to pass through proper cognition of reality, these end all patterns, causes, and erase all the traces of sin.

The Self is also the self. Once habitual tolerance for sins and their outcomes, their biases, the insane motivations we have them evaporate what is revealed are the qualities God and human beings share.  

Without a glimpse of the untarnished Self through meditation, which antagonizes biases, the photograph of the  world does not develop properly. We will continue to act as if the utterly flawed and false tenets that are driving us all to the brink are right and proper when they are indeed deadly to us.  

How to come back to life? The Upanishad says:

23-24. Of the great incantation ‘Tat’, “That”  the seer is Hamsa “the King of Grace” , un-manifest Gayatri is the metre.

=the King of Grace, fully illuminated by the Supreme Consciousness is more than just a well-wisher…

Paramahamsa the deity “The Most High, the Most Wise, the Forgiving, the Especially Forgiving” is God;

Hamsa the seed “who sows the creation with Grace” ;

Sama-Veda, power “knowledge of the Self, Supremely Still”;

So’ham is the pin; “Of His Kindness, I am.”

Application is the meditation for my liberation. Bow to the thumbs, to that aspirant Svaha “the autograph”,

 To Isana “the master”,

The index fingers, Vasat “the Habitat”,

To Aghora  “follower of Siva” the middle fingers,

To Sadyojata, “the newly born follower of Siva” the ring fingers, hum;

 To Vamadeva, “the poet, the chariot of the gods”, the little fingers Vausat “the formula”  to that spirit, Isana, Aghora etc. Phat.

“The magic formula for life is found in the chariot of the gods, the words of the Script. From within the masters stamp the soul of the new and the established student alike with the Knowledge of the Supreme, who is indwelling, the Most Kind, the One Who Expresses Himself and sows creation with His Graces through embodied demonstrations of the Self.

Meditate on that shining light as knowledge and its objects and what is beyond them both, taintless, awake, free and imperishable."

[sunsetconcert]

Artificer: Armorer. Batman literally built himself a suit that looks like it's organic for the sole purpose of freaking people out. He's stuck gadgets into every inch of his suit, from his boots to his belt to his stupid pointy ears. This is a man who would have fun in a supply closet. His dream day out is to go to a hardware store and buying a mountain of crap to duct tape together. Do not leave this man unsupervised.

Barbarian: Totem Warrior, with a Bat Spirit because… Obviously. Batman is an extremely emotional person, and while he typically restrains himself, he often focuses his extreme emotion into his work. This is a man who had one bad thing happen to him when he was eight and he has held that grudge for the next THIRTY YEARS. That's rage, regardless of how he focuses it.

Bard: College of Glamour. Enthralling Performance. Adam West dancing the Batusi. I don't need to explain this further.

Cleric: Twilight Domain. Probably the least likely option on this list, but very possible. Helm, a Twilight domain deity, represents Vigilance and Protection. He's also a figure clad in a full suit of armour that "represented the weight of his heavy responsibility". Would Batman worship a deity? I do not know, but I do know that Helm would admire the steady and thankless work that Batman continues night after night.

Druid: Circle Of The Moon. Now, he might not be in the wild exactly, but "gathers under the full moon to share news and trade warnings" is very much a Bat Family thing. Look me dead in the eye and say that Batman actually shapeshifting into a bat wouldn't be rad as hell.

Fighter: Battle Master. This is described as "employing martial techniques passed down through the generations". And well-rounded fighters of great skill and knowledge? That's Batman, baby. This man could swing a sword, use a shield, he can use a bow, he's a generalist who knows a bit of everything. And yes, this means Batman knows how to street fight and pull off Greco-Roman style grappling. He's not just a one-trick pony who does traditional eastern martial arts.

Monk: Way Of Shadow. Batman has literally trained with every martial artist in the world, and actively made himself the stealthiest bastard you've ever seen. He is ABSOLUTELY going to be skulking around in the dark. The class description LITERALLY calls them ninjas. Also, Pass Without Trace? Darkvision? Those are things Batman can just do in canon. This is probably the most likely one.

Paladin: Oath Of Conquest. At the age of ten years old, Bruce Wayne gave the simplest Oath a man can give - I Will Destroy Crime. He is called a Knight in canon. There are numerous scenes where he swears in his apprentices. Hell, in the Adam West show, he's almost explicitly an Oath Of Crowns Paladin who holds the law paramount, his word as his bond, courage as his solemn duty, and will always do the right thing even if it hurts him personally.

Ranger: Gloom Stalker. "At home in the darkest places, deep beneath the earth, in gloomy alleyways, and wherever else the light dims. They venture boldly into darkness, seeking to ambush threats before they can reach the broader world." Batman. Hell, you could probably say his favoured terrain is cities. Rangers even get a bonus for thrown weapons, so batarangs are on the table here.

Rogue: Inquisitive is about rooting out secrets and unraveling mysteries, relying on a sharp eye for detail and finely honed ability to read people. This is Batman to a T, as more often than not, he wouldn't get anywhere if he was unable to figure out the puzzles set before him. I would also suggest Mastermind, if you wanted to play more of a "Bruce Wayne as a socialite" character. My personal opinion though? PICKING ROGUE IS A BASIC BITCH ANSWER.

Warlock: THIS IS THE ONE OKAY. HEAR ME OUT. HEAR ME OUT. Batman is a Warlock whose patron is a Great Old One, but more specifically, the Spirit Of Gotham. This adds to the overall element that Batman is being consumed by his work - he ABSOLUTELY IS! The Spirit Of Gotham would TOTALLY be trying to destroy Bruce Wayne, to make Batman an eternal servant to carry out its bizarre whims upon the world!

Wizard: Batman's too scientific to be a wizard.

Saw this running around as a poll on youtube, was curious how different the results would be on tumblr.

[moxfirefly]

Coming into the ask box and its so hard to decide what to ask for... Maybe some smutty heisenberg headcannons? *eyebrow wiggles* Some nasty nasty

My time has officially come. Bestie thank you for being my first Heisenberg requester. So, some smutty Headcanons with metal daddy himself?

Let’s get to it.

Listen friends, this man can be an honest to goodness switch. Top leaning but a switch nonetheless.

I’m throwing it out there rather quickly, welcome another member into the Mommy Kink gang (with his mommy issues I mean helloooo)

TEASE™️

Karl’s never gonna pass up the opportunity to fucking tease you, okay? In any place, at any god given time, if he can grope, stroke, say some filth to you, it’s happening.

Speaking of, Dirty Talk™️

This man will say some vulgar af things. Bitch, Whore, Cunt, etc to just name a few

But they’ll be some cute names peppered in there don’t get me wrong, there’s a lot emotions wise going on with this bastard (we can dive into that later)

Buttercup is obviously one (Neil Newbon gave us that gem) but also expect options like: Kitten, puppy or pup, sweetheart just to name a few oh and GERMAN ONES TOO.

But back to filth. Karl’s got a filthy mouth yes, but he puts it to same excellent use when he’s not on a rant. Sloppy af blowjobs, eats you out like he hasn’t tasted a divine meal in decades.

Doesn’t have a preference for receiving but he’ll enjoy watching you trying to get most of his dick in your mouth, will laugh and belittle you when you choke

Chokes you on purpose

Listen, choking is gonna be part of the game here. Imagine that leather gloved hand enclosing around your neck, tugging you close to his lips which haven’t stopped grinning in evil glee.

BIG ON PRAISE.

BIG ON OWNERSHIP.

JEALOUS™️

Metal comes into play. He’ll likely fashion you with some metal trinket to toy around with you. A simple but elegant chain that wraps around your waist. A bracelet on your wrist or ankle.

A collar.

A pair of cuffs.

He’s gonna use those powers on your for fun. In every way shape or form. (Hello electricity play 🥴)

Claims he doesn’t care about kissing.

Makes out with you often.

Possessive, hard presses, bitting kisses.

🥴Hi if you’ve got a spit kink, you don’t gotta ask him twice, open up that pretty mouth🥴

Fingering/Hand job God.

Lots and lots of angry fucking (especially if he’s had a run in with Alcina or Mother Miranda’s bs)

But also there will be clingy, possessive, ‘doesn’t want to let go of you’ fucking too. Again complex guy emotionally.

Melts when you run your fingers across his various scars.

Will get hard if you start kissing them.

Will get hard if you have any knowledge in mechanics, welding, medical practice.

Predator/prey kink.

Cock warming.

Bit of an exhibitionist.

[professorspork]

If you're accepting non-superhell prompts, I'd love to see a conversation between Nora and Emerald! I've been REALLY loving these microfics, I've subscribed to you on Ao3, I'll read whatever else you write

[Gahhh that’s so nice you’re so nice!! thanks for being patient on this one, finding my Nora took some doing]

It’s occurring to Emerald that she’s never had a close female friend before.

You say that like you’ve ever had any friends before, the voice in her head that sounds suspiciously like Mercury needles her, but she brushes it aside. Like—okay, yeah, she’ll concede the point when it comes to Cinder. In hindsight, whatever they’d had going on between them may have been... super intense... but it probably had never been friendship, in the usual definition. But she and Mercury were friends, no matter what the judgy little shitstain version of him who lives in her head has to say about it. They’d always gotten along. Told each other stuff. It’s not like there’s more to it than that, right?

It had always been like that. Been—instinctive somehow, with guys. Before Cinder, on the street, it was always the men who’d been easiest to manipulate; who would empty their pockets for a smile and a sob story. And then she and Merc had been two sides of the same coin for so long, and then... well, Hazel’d liked her enough to die for her, apparently. (Which—that’s a door that she keeps closed, thanks. She shuts it firmly again, now.) Oscar seems fond of her, in a sweet, uncomplicated sort of way that she really doesn’t know what to do with, seeing as he shares headspace with like a trillion year old man and the idea that anything to do with that kid could be “uncomplicated” is batshit. Ren vouched for her once, and then again, and now he keeps doing it, like it’s habit, like she should just be used to the fact that people are going to have her back, to ask her if she’s eaten, to turn to her with a raised eyebrow in conversation like her opinion would be constructive.

Anyway.

Now that she’s noticed the pattern, it seems like the kind of thing she should probably… work on, or whatever. And Nora seems like an obvious place for Emerald to start. They’ve been thrown in together a lot, lately, Emerald and Oscar expected to fill in the gaps of what’s left of the old JNPR by default. Not that they’ve ever really had a conversation about it—Emerald can’t think of the last time Nora said two words to her that weren’t combat warnings like “more Grimm coming” or “on your left,” but. That’s probably just because things have been tense. She remembers Nora being friendly, on the whole of it. Off-puttingly friendly, even, back at Beacon.

How hard could it be?

The answer, it turns out, is absurdly hard. Nora’s barely ever in the temporary barracks they’re all living out of, instead always checking on the refugees, going on supply runs over esoteric requests, volunteering for extra patrols. Emerald used to find that kind of dogged do-goodery gag-inducing, but now that she’s been the helping hand herself a few times, she’s starting to see the appeal. The way people look at you when you’ve been of service, it’s—nice. Really nice. But Nora works utterly thankless jobs, the kind most people don’t even notice, let alone appreciate. And when they have their insufferably long leadership meetings and they’re talking about distribution of resources or whatever, Nora’s a fierce debater—jumping in to advocate for the people from Mantle sometimes even before May can. As far as Emerald can tell, she does this stuff just because... she believes in it. Because it’s the right thing to do, and someone has to.

She can’t imagine what it would feel like, to have the attention of someone like that turned on her. She’s craved it from the wrong people for so long, but now that she has her pick of options... she’s letting herself actually want the right kind, for once. She thinks.

Which is all to say that largely through no fault of her own, Emerald unexpectedly finds herself sitting with a profound, fervent desire for Nora Valkyrie to think she’s cool.

She hates that.

-

Fighting with Nora is easy.

(—er. Alongside. Fighting alongside Nora is easy. Emerald’s done fighting with these people. Very done.)

It’s weird, because Emerald’s finding working with a full team to be a real adjustment. When battles get big enough to merit it, she’s used to keeping to the sidelines to use her Semblance for nefarious purposes, or, in a jam, used to having Mercury’s six—literally, because all the forward momentum from his feet-first style always left his back wide open. Figuring out where to put herself so that Oscar can use her shoulder as a fulcrum as he dodges, or trying to aim for the Grimm Ren isn’t already shooting (ugh)—it’s taking work.

But somehow, it’s not work for Nora. Nora seems to anticipate with perfect ease how Emerald will move or what she’ll be doing; Nora bobs and weaves around their ragtag little band with her war hammer like it’s breathing.

It doesn’t bother Emerald until it does, and she means to bring it up casually but there’s never a good time. So it just… stews, and stews, until she can’t keep it bottled up anymore.

Which means that instead of the earnest question she intends it to be, it comes out like this:

“Okay, seriously? It’s creepy how you do that.”

It’s just the two of them, plus the handful of dweeby Atlesian tech-types they’re escorting back from their foray installing some fancy hydro-filtration modules on the outskirts of the camp. And it’s not like Emerald had felt outmatched by the half-dozen Ravagers that had decided they looked like lunch—she can shoot Ravagers in her sleep, at this point—but still. The way Nora had moved around her, it was like they’d been fighting side by side for years.

Nora just cocks her head to the side. “Do what?” she asks, like she hadn’t just basically read Emerald’s mind in front of the water nerds.

Emerald does a complicated gesture with her hands, wrist over wrist, and then flicking two fingers—trying to evoke the way Nora had flipped over Emerald’s back and then kicked off, just trusting Emerald would reel her back in with a chain in midair before a Grimm could fly away with her sorry ass. “That.”

“Oh!” Nora laughs and rubs at the back of her neck, looking sheepish. “It’s nothing. I guess it’s just not a big deal for me? Like—I was there when Ren built StormFlower. The cables are newish, but we practiced so much back in Atlas… I dunno. It’s just reflex, when your weapons are so similar. Fighting with you, it’s almost like fighting with him. I don’t even have to think about it.”

Nora swallows, then, and makes a face Emerald can’t interpret—disappointed, maybe, or ashamed. Which: good. She probably should be, taking things for granted like that.

“Well—just—” Emerald’s not even sure what she wants to say. Ask, next time? Don’t? “You shouldn’t make assumptions. I’m not your boyfriend, okay?”

The venom she puts behind the word is directed more at herself than Nora—frustrated, again, that she’s put herself in the position of wanting so desperately to be liked.

Pathetic.

Nora just nods, looking glum.

“Yeah,” she murmurs, cheeks pulling in a bitter smile. “You’d think I’d be able to keep that one straight, huh?”

She says it with such pointed irony that for a second Emerald wonders if she’d gotten it wrong somehow, but like—Nora and Ren are a thing, right? That’s—everyone knows that.

“Hey, what—?”

“Let’s just go,” Nora says, and Emerald automatically falls into line behind her.

They make the rest of the walk back in silence.

-

Sometimes at night, when she can’t sleep, Emerald likes to climb up to the roof of the barracks and look out over the refugee camp.

It’s—peaceful, is all. A good reminder of where she is; how far she’s come. The night sky in Vacuo has more stars than she’s ever seen, and being able to watch over all these people who have somehow become her responsibility… well.

A part of her will always be standing on the rooftop at Beacon, looking down on pure chaos as a queasy, frightened sensation twists in her gut and its noxious voice whispers you did this, you did this, you did this. What did you think was going to happen, you stupid little girl? You don’t get to feel sorry for it now.

But she does.

Weird how the only thing that’s helped is actually doing something about it.

She hears a scuffling noise over her shoulder, and she’s got Thief’s Respite drawn and ready before she can even really register what she’s heard. She relaxes when she sees it’s Nora at the other end of the barrels, unarmed and hands raised—a funny little smile on her face, like yeah, fair enough, I should have known better than to try and sneak up.

“Just me,” she says, unnecessarily.

Emerald holsters her guns. “Can I help you?” she asks, and—what is it about her voice, that makes sentences that would be nice if any other human said them come out straight-up hostile?

Nora shrugs, hands dropping to her sides. “I was hoping we could talk; I figured you’d come up here if I waited long enough.”

Well, see—what kind of lesson is she supposed to take from that? She’s been hoping for Nora to talk to her for weeks, and acting like a bitch is the thing that gets her what she wants? Good guys are supposed to know better.

And there’s the way she said it, too. Like everyone knows Emerald comes up here to brood; like it’s a big open secret. The knowledge sits uncomfortably in her stomach, makes her feel watched. Even now, even here, she can’t get a moment alone. Not really.

“What, so you’re spying on me now?”

Nora’s eyes narrow. “I have a pretty bad track record when it comes to losing people. Makes a girl want to put in a little hustle when it comes to keeping tabs on her friends.”

And Emerald would snark at that, or maybe apologize, or something, only—

Nora thinks they’re friends?

“Well, take a seat, I guess,” she mumbles, scooching to the side as though she needs to make room on the massive, empty roof.

Nora walks over and joins Emerald on the asphalt, letting her legs dangle over the edge. Seemingly unsure of where to start, she stares at her hands. Emerald stares too, but her eyes can’t help but wander—tracing the way scars, silvery in the moonlight, spiderweb up Nora’s bare wrists and forearms to fetter her shoulders, clavicle, neck. Like cracks in a pane of glass, right before it shatters.

(Only that’s not it at all, is it? It’s not a sign of weakness, but a warning of strength. I care this much, her scars announce to the word. You wanna try me?

Hazel’s arms always looked like that.)

Emerald doesn’t want to be the one to break the silence, sure that whatever she’d say would be incredibly stupid.

Luckily, Nora has no such qualms, and opens with: “I really admire you, you know?”

Emerald stares, jaw slack, certain she’s heard wrong. “I—what?” She’d say something defensive, like yeah right or you don’t have to make fun of me, only Nora’s eyes are so wide and so guileless they don’t leave any room for argument.

“I mean it,” Nora adds. “I know we don’t know all that much about each other, but… here’s what I do know: I can’t remember a time I saw you without Mercury right behind. Just like me’n Ren. And the way you fought for Cinder…” Nora smiles a sad, private little smile. “You don’t fight like that unless it’s personal; unless someone means something to you. Just like me’n Ren. And now you’re here. All on your own. And you didn’t have to be. That’s—don’t you think that’s crazy brave? I sure do.”

Of course she fucking doesn’t. Crazy brave would have been walking away the first, tenth, hundredth time she had a flash of panic about what she was doing. Or, better yet, doing something about it. Crazy brave is taking thirty thousand volts to get to your friends; it’s flooding your veins with pure crystalline power and saying Go, I’m doing what Gretchen would have done, it’s—

She closes that door.

“It’s not like I really had a choice,” she sighs, dodging the question.

“Oh, you know that’s not true,” Nora scoffs dismissively, tilting sideways to nudge Emerald with her shoulder.

And Emerald jolts, because—look, it’s not like no one touches her. They have to manhandle each other all the time in battle, and… and Oscar gives her high fives sometimes, which makes her embarrassingly pleased. But what Nora’s offering now, that kind of buddy-buddy casual contact…

… it’s been a while, is all.

“So, why did you want to talk to me?” Emerald asks, overwhelmed and suddenly desperate to find a way to get this conversation over with. She feels like she’s sprinted five miles; like she’s had the crap kicked out of her and she has to go somewhere to lick her wounds. Too much, too fast.

Nora laughs—a chuffing, cynical noise that doesn’t sound at all like her. “Looking for pointers? See, I’m trying this thing where I do things on my own, but I just—I suck at it. Like today; you saw. Even when I’m not with Ren, all I do is… is act exactly the same way I do when I’m with Ren. Like I literally don’t know how to exist without him, whether he’s actually there or not. And I know that’s not fair to anyone; I didn’t mean to treat you like—” She shakes her head, biting her lip. “You’re not just some stand-in. It’s not you at all. I’m just—broken, or something. One trick pony.”

“No, hey—”

“But you figured it out,” she barrels on, which is good, because Emerald doesn’t actually have a clue what she would have said there. “You don’t have anyone and somehow you’re just, like—good to go!” Nora says it cheerily, like it’s a compliment, but has the grace to balk a little when she hears how it sounds. “…sorry. That’s—sorry.”

Emerald shrugs, drawing her knees to her chest and resting her chin there. She feels like an idiot; building it up for weeks like spending time with Nora would solve all her problems when, surprise surprise, Nora’s just as fucked up as she is.

“Hate to disappoint you, but I don’t have any hot tips,” she mutters into the crooks of her elbows. “I don’t have a clue what I’m doing. Like—you want to know the really sad part? I was just following your lead.”

“My…?” Nora can’t even finish repeating it, which: Emerald can’t blame her. It’s so dumb. “Huh?”

“Come on. You know.”

“I don’t,” Nora says, voice thick with exhaustion. Like she’s sick of herself. “Ask anyone—I’m not the brains of the operation.”

Hearing Nora talk about herself that way makes Emerald’s chest feel tight; like her ribs have locked in place so her lungs can’t expand. She doesn’t know how to explain it; not without sounding like a starry-eyed fangirl or a moron with a crush and that’s not what this—it’s only that—

She chooses to start a different way.

“You wanna know why I switched sides? Like, really why?”

Nora softens, and reaches out to touch the back of Emerald’s left hand, where it dangles over her knee. “Sure,” she says, but Emerald barely hears it; it’s taking all of her concentration not to clench her fist or pull away in response.

“I overheard Oscar—or, Ozpin, I guess, I don’t know—talking to Hazel about Salem, about her goals. And… listen. No one joins under Salem because they’re trying to kill the world, okay? I mean, no one but Tyrian, anyway. We were all just trying to… find ways to get by. And when Cinder found me, she—” Emerald swallows, hard. This cuts too deep, too close. It’s not something she can just say. “I wasn’t trying to be some big villain, or something. I was just—looking out for the people who were looking out for me. And why wouldn’t I? No one else ever seemed to think I was worth it.”

“Of course you are,” Nora cuts in, quiet but vehement. “Everyone is.”

“See, the worst part is that you mean that when you say it,” Emerald grumbles, scrubbing at her face until smears of color kaleidoscope behind her closed eyes. “I figured people like you didn’t exist, and then Cinder and Merc were glad to prove me right, and—I let them. You know? And maybe if I’d just held out a little longer…”

“You’re not the only one here who’s ashamed of her past. Harriet tried to blow up Mantle, like, a month ago.”

“That’s not—forget that. I’m talking about you. Nora.” It’s the first time she’s ever said her name like that—addressing her, in conversation. It feels… astonishingly intimate, for so small a thing. Emerald powers past it. “Every day, I see you do something ridiculous, like double back on a patrol because you forgot you promised some kid a candy bar, or something, and that—matters. To me. It’s so stupid, but it’s not, because… argh! I want—it’s—” She tries to get her mouth to form the words, that’s the kind of person I want to be, but they stop in her throat.

Still, Nora seems to get the message. Her eyes seem suspiciously shiny for a moment—but when she blinks, it’s gone. “I… thank you.”

“Don’t mention it,” Emerald grumbles. Saying it like she means it: seriously. Don’t mention it.

“I understand what you mean, though. For years, the only person who looked out for me was Ren. And if he’d said…” Nora trails off, then, cocking her head to the side as she works through something. “Huh.”

“What?”

“Nothing, just. I remembered something. I was about to say that if Ren told me the only way for us to get by was a life of crime, or something, I would’ve taken his word for it, but—the opposite happened. We decided to enroll at Beacon. And that wasn’t his idea; it was mine. I always wanted to be a Huntress. To… to be the one strong enough to help people, instead of always needing the help. He wasn’t sure if we would make it, but I was. We were together, right? How could we lose?” She chuckles, a little, shaking her head at herself. “Get a load of that. He followed me.”

They smile at each other, then. Like they’ve figured out something profound. Maybe Nora has; Emerald hopes so.

“I’m glad you’re here, Emerald,” Nora says, and—there it is again. The frisson of electricity that comes with being referred to by name.

Of course, then Emerald ruins it by blurting out:

“Of course you are, all your other friends are dead.”

Which—“Fuck!” she sputters, because she didn’t mean to say that. What is wrong with her? “Sorry! Sorry.”

Nora only grins at her, feral and incisive. “Yeah, well. Yours are evil, so. Pick your poison. At least I’m proud of mine.”

Touché.

“Still glad I’m here?” Emerald jeers, because her first instinct is still to press on the bruise to see how much it hurts.

Nora laughs, and gets to her feet. “Believe it or not, yes. If putting your foot in your mouth was all it took to get booted from Hero Club, I’d have been kicked out a long time ago.” She reaches down to offer Emerald a hand; Emerald takes it, letting Nora pull her to standing. “Now go and get some rest, huh? None of us can ever sleep when you’re up here thinking so loud.”

“That an order?”

“Advice. Friends give it, from time to time.”

And—yeah. Maybe they do.